One of the surest ways to insanity is to do the same thing over and over, expecting different results. The same can be said of human character and the desires of an idealistic empathetic person.
Our calibration and sensitivity is so fine, that our sense impressions and initial judgments of people are rarely wrong. Even when we try to make room for another alternative and the passage of time, ironically, the results are the same as what we initially surmised.
There is a false sense of security we develop in our temporary and created communities, whether at work, school, neighborhood or other places that we share, literally and figuratively, common ground. The length and passage of time of casual awareness makes one think that there is truth, loyalty and support. Yet, the one who will step forward in times of trouble is the same individual you got along with from the first time that you met. Our spirit, inner strength and genuine selves recognize a like-minded person before our conscious mind lets us cross the doubts of previous disappointments and distrust. The peace seeker in me wants to give people a chance to show glorious and perfect attributes; the people pleaser in me thinks that I can change someone else’s mind. Sadly, someone vocal in their dislike, is probably still set in their mind trap. If someone wants to find fault with you, they will never be disappointed.
I want to believe that people will rise to the occasion, bring out their best natures and show their mettle in times of stress. It is so intrinsic to my idealism and belief in humanity that people are inherently good; I know other people feel that if the obtuse were informed, they would behave differently, better, given the chance. Despite wanting people to be as special, supportive, courageous, defenders of the underdog, and seekers of truth and justice, some of them are just never going to reach that level. Some are unable and some simply don’t want to work that hard. The opportunity and sincere desire to help another seems so elemental to me. Perhaps seeing things another way, or changing the tone of how I speak and communicate, will let me find the way to approach and bring out another’s best. Despite knowing how the story goes, and the characters relate, I try to choose a new ending. However, faced with the transitioning loss of my mother and grandmother, both of whom I love dearly, it is becoming the hard-learned reality of life and environment. You try to carry on, but the extended illness makes it so hard to think clearly sometimes. It seems so final, like I have given up and don’t believe in the power of change or goodness. That is a very hard lesson and concept for an Empathy Queen to accept.
My first instinct is to think and empathize with the other person and allow them to express their pain, loss, or fear. I have come to realize that the individuals who will turn a cold shoulder, in the best of times, will do no more in the worst of times.
The desire to trust, believe in the expansion of spirit, and the knowledge that there are some supremely special and loving souls in the world is what keeps me going in these dark times. There is an engaging and open-eyed wonder in finding these vital individuals and basking in their unique grace and boundless wisdom. When you meet such an angel on a human journey, you don’t have to wait long to realize the depth of her feeling and thought. Time is not an issue; the friendly, loving, and open demeanor rise to the surface when you meet and shows itself almost immediately when seen with empathic eyes.
There are healers among us, soothing us with their words or merely putting a hand on our shoulders as we cry. The most wonderful message came to me yesterday from one such rare individual. He reminded me of the paths I have had to take to start over, move my family, begin and end jobs in ways to support us. Remember the effort to put forth the energy for one more day, over and over, despite the pain and hardships. The achievements that you have made, as a loving and responsible person, make you a powerful warrior. When the time comes to cross to the side of those who mourn, ground yourself and remember the strength in the heart of a warrior. It is there ~ and you will be able to call it up with ease when you face the final test and challenges.
What a wonderful blessing and wish for help in times of trouble, love and loss! I felt honored and grateful to hear the divine and lasting beauty in those heartfelt words. While love and loss illuminate and reveal the true character of ourselves, and those we interact with, a reminder that inner strength really can lie waiting dormant beneath the tears, anxiety and fear is the greatest kindness and empathy we can share.
Thank you so much for stopping by! It means much more than you know.