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In the good old days of “Whip me, Beat me, Make me work long hours” it was imperative to socialize with coworkers. Along with stockbrokers, their assistants and other Finance majors, Gin & Tonic was the drink to request at the bar. Sales and marketing utilized my speaking skills and ability to speak to anyone and everyone.

My husband married me in part because no one had ever kept him talking that long. He appreciated that I could be the social one and step forward with conversation and bravado. For me, laughter, means real laughter; deep, roll your head back, down to the soul laughter that fills me up with the effervescent delight of joy.

My enthusiasm and people skills have always been a part of the parties I attended and I still want the other person to enjoy themselves. It is hard to recognize the quiet introvert from the talkative extrovert.
Words, words, everywhere and not a stop to think.

These days, I am much more empathic and highly sensitive. Picking up the energy of the people around me means that I would much rather read a book at times than be in a large party. At a large social function, there are so many emotions swirling around and efforts to make a connection. For better or worse, I can be exhausted by just watching some of those interactions.

The ability to see and feel emotions means that I understand the energy of pain. You can see the magnified light of joy and success. But the feelings of narcissism, control, passive aggression and deceit come through crystal clear too. This is not a sense of control or artificial grandiosity. My brain overthinks and considers the ideas that surround me. I pick up all the snippets of conversation; my hearing is blessed but my brain gets tired. There are days when “Off with your head” would be most helpful, to me or the other person; it depends if I am feeling picky.

These days, I seek to conserve my energy. While always being introspective, in my mourning, I am more circumspect too. It feels indecent to enjoy myself too much. A family wedding is a cause to rejoice ~ and remember. Photos show great times and memories of the ones who have passed. Joy and sadness mingle with laughter, thought, and emotion. Yippee ~~~~ a party in my head that requires waterproof mascara!

In my work, I counsel, listen and engage others’ needs and requests. Some people fill you up with energy and others suck it out like an old, musty vacuum with an extra-long hose. Honesty, clarity and good conversation can take place in a crowd or with a handful of truly wonderful friends and family. These days, the family occasions and small groupings are the parties I prefer. My dream drink of choice is a margarita, even if I only imbibe in my mind. I guess my party animal of choice is the Cookie Monster.

I am that person who must read something before she goes to sleep. The simple joys of bed, books, and cookies bring me more happiness and comfort than the bar scene. Eating, Reading and Sleeping, in no particular order, always make my mind and soul feel loved, pampered, and refreshed. No mascara required.




  1. I reassessed my life when I was 51 years old and set off on my own. First, I was pretty much silent, then the joy of conversation reciprocated by others was my drug of choice. Five years in, I’d learned to appreciate silence and to recognize and heed the wisdom of my inner voice. Often it takes a significant loss or explosive change to propel us to our dearest, most sacred spaces. I am touched by your journey and your words often remind me of the powerful nature within that is waiting for the perfect time and circumstance in which to be born.

    • Dearest Itty,

      your words are poetry and your caring is so grand, enveloping, and warm. I don’t know how to get where I am really going, besides that which I am doing currently one step at a time. I do hope to earn and develop the wisdom you exude.

      • You’re doing exactly what you need to be doing. Patience and observation are two great teachers in the journey. ❤

  2. This is amazing… I can totally relate now in my late 30’s i get more pleasure from peace and am over effected by others ‘stuff’ 😉 j9

    • Jaynine, I am so happy that you can relate. Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one who feels this way. Thank you so much for sharing your honesty and yes, being highly sensitive means we need some time to just gather our strength. Much peace to you.

  3. Thank you for sharing my post! Good luck with your blog!

2 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. […] are sometimes difficult to source in my physical world! Thanks for putting yourself out there in your writing challenge […]

  2. […] The only Party Animal I want to Emulate is Cookie Monster | theempathyqueen […]

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