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age i would have my shit together

I got into an elevator at work yesterday. The other occupant was a sweaty man who had just come back from a sturdy workout in the corporate gym. He barely touched the button for his floor and the alarm rang. I said that it was sensitive. He said “I am too. I am a sensitive guy. Like a sensitive guy of the 90’s not a guy of the 2000’s.” No, I cannot make up this stuff.

See, a rationalization. But a classy way to prove the value of being older and more mature.

I am not as lithe and thin as I once was. Incredibly I had so much energy and would walk a mile each way to buy a pound of gourmet jelly beans in my teen years. Not only could I not do that now, I would also have to worry about diabetes.

Choosing and making excuses that sugar is so important to me for self-wellness (and feeding my inner child?) and just relaxes me while I read and rest, I attempt to rationalize the value and virtue of eating candy.

I need the right cosmetics to cover the hyperpigmentation and redness on my face. Those years of baby oil and sunbathing are far behind me. Only quality products will contain the necessary SPF and finish that brightens without mattifying. So many things to consider. So, am I merely taking care of my skin as a mature 50 year old should or did I become a Sephora Insider because I adore colored eyeliners, lots of nail polish and keep hunting for the perfect lipstick? Makeup is fun and one size actually does fit all.

Rationalization is the art of making choices for valued and considered reasons regardless of the truth of the debate. I am good with that.

I got help with one of my best rationalizations from my father. I have fulfilled this and passed it on down to my children. If you find something that you like, and it fits well, buy it in as many colors as able or at least two or three of the same item since you will not find it again.

We share these delights with our families, so really we are creating memories —and there is no replacement for that, right?!?

See how easy this game is. Yes, you too can do this and no membership fee is required. Of course a colonoscopy may be necessary.

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