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Monthly Archives: March 2014

Do you like cookies? If someone offers them to you — you say I like that!

It is so hard to take away the innocent joy of an open-hearted child, but this is the sad truth of teaching Life Lessons out of love.

If this made you smile, pass it on. We could all use one! It is a great way to start the work week.

Happy Monday!

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compassion

For some reason, in the last two weeks, a couple of people have made comments to me that it is amazing how quickly time has gone by, as it is almost a year since Mom passed, and I should be feeling better. People don’t know what to say, or how to make conversation, or are just really obtuse. I don’t want to call them stupid, but it might be time to change the batteries in their empathy chips when we turn the clocks back tonight.

I don’t count the days since my Mother has passed. I count long months, tears, memories and the knowledge that I am no one’s favorite. It has been ten months since my Mother passed and nine months since my Grandmother passed on. The period of time watching each of them deteriorating has chipped at my heart of glass and left sharp craggy edges.

I still weep copiously at the sight of my mother’s photos and I wonder when she comes to visit, as a spirit from the Light, if she will linger long enough to leave a message in my dreams.

People want grief to be defined and confined to some statute of limitations. Here is the thing that you need to remember: Grief is Messy. It does not care about times or decorum. It hits when it is most inconvenient or when anything special happens in your life. It makes you weep at the hole in your life without a Significant Other who loves you and thinks you are funny, witty and special.

Loss is a plant that never dies; it has deep roots, with periods of growing and waning, fresh bursts, and blossoms in its season, but can never be fully harvested.

People tell me not to be angry at G-d as it was His decision and his judgment. I am not; my mother was lucky to move to a better life out of her imprisoned body. However, I still miss my Mom.

I am very aware of how much time has passed and the dates on the calendar that mark holidays and other major occasions in our lives. When babies are born, I want to call her and share the news and the photos. As my father prepares to walk down the aisle as a proud Grandfather in two weeks’ time, we are well aware of her absence.

This is not a time of crossing X’s on a calendar counting down to some date of freedom. My mother’s spirit was set free and for her it was a joyous reunion with family long since gone. But, for me, I am chained to the date with full knowledge of what it means. The calendar is a masquerade of days. It is not a sign of moving forward; rather it is a measure of the time I have been looking back over my shoulder to see what is left behind.

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Thank you for stopping by. It means more than you know.

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marilyn nail polish

After putting it off for too long, I made an appointment to go to the Spa with the brightly-colored door. Winter blues and boots made me long for summer toes and a soothing pedicure. Rationing the remaining balance on my birthday gift card, I booked an appointment to be soothed, smoothed, and calluses removed.

The clientele is always different. Some people are friendly and talkative. Others close their eyes or play on their phones. Midweek, I was able to get an appointment at a convenient time. I settled in to my chair with a warm neck pillow, a glass of cucumber water, and a warm towel across my lap. All this was brought to me; no one treats me that good at home!

While warm paraffin softened my crocodile skin, a voice could be heard loudly around the Spa. “I have been to Miami. New York. L.A. Las Vegas. They always play music. This place is for Grandmas. Who doesn’t like music?”

Firstly, now that I am one, I think highly of Grandmas and have deep appreciation for the child who made me one three times over in 18 months. I think it is a great gig and hope to carry the title for a long time.

Secondly, a nice person is making a living cleaning your skin and cutting your cuticles. You could say “Please” and “Thank You.” You could have managed to keep your opinion to yourself for thirty minutes. But, no, you wanted e v e r y o n e to hear about your dissatisfaction. You complained so loudly that I could hear you in an adjacent room.

Thank you for showing how entitled, spoiled, overindulged, and irritating some people can be with no appreciation for anyone else. For me, going to the Spa was preceded by a grateful thanks to Mom and G-d for giving me a gift to be pampered. Did you enjoy your little hissy fit in front of the staff! You made the group of us there at the expensive Spa seem like bratty children who don’t appreciate what they have been given.

After listening to you rant for awhile, the technician gently told you to let your nails dry for a few minutes and she would be right back. Rather than let her quietly gather some strength, fresh air, or a bathroom break, you called out: “Can you get me a coffee with Sweet ‘n Low?” Not even a please. Oh, and by the way, she is not a waitress.

By all means, this mundane little Spa is simply too pedestrian for the likes of you who has had her nails clipped around the world. Please find some place that plays music. By all means, escape us Grandmas. Not everyone has such difficult first world problems as you. Some of us are just worried about how to keep our jobs and pay our bills. I would much rather see the world through my rose colored toenails than listen to you whine.

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Thanks for Stopping By! It means more than you know.

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It is hard to find an all weather suit with the crazy weather we have been having in Washington D.C.

Winter Storm Brings More Snow To DC Area

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