Skip navigation

Monthly Archives: February 2015

Last Words

vulnerability

When Sir Isaac Newton died, he was humble. He said, “I don’t know what I may seem to the world. But as to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore and diverting myself now and then in finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than the ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.” **

helping_empathy words hand

If I had to share my last words on a blog, I would still continue to search for meaning and remain a life long learner. There would be less of my words but more of everyone else’s perspective. I would want to comfort others and express empathy by a touch, a smile, eye contact, a tilt of the head, or a laugh. Empathy allows us to use multiple methods of communication and expression with all of our senses, intuition, and feelings.

The spirit of caring, and energy of compassion, is a kindness that transcends words. No act of kindness is too small; no recognition and appreciation for it undeserved.

Life is a continual purpose of awareness and seeking out the meaning and depth beyond the superficiality of words. A look, a promise, a vow are lifelong pursuits that outlive the futile attempt to put our deepest thoughts and grandest intentions into words.

I would thank those who have read my blog and allowed me to share my thoughts. I have been, and continue to be, so appreciative of the comments and heartfelt thoughts and responses shared with me. Finding other like-minded people in a very large world is a treasure. I would remain an idealist and hope to find other means of expression.

Speak while you can but be sure to find ways to listen to others’ words, and therein, create relationships and memories that last with them. They can be the storytellers when we cease to speak for ourselves.

Purpose-of-life_Emerson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for stopping by and allowing me to express myself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

** Note: the source for most of these is the fantastic reference book Last Words of Notable People: Final Words of More than 3500 Noteworthy People Throughout History by William B. Brahms.

freshly-pressed-circle

5 words about writing

J.K. Simmons accepts the Best Supporting Actor statue at the Academy Awards on Sunday in Los Angeles. In his speech, he told the audience to call mom and dad.

“Call your mom. Call your dad.”

That simple call to action from J.K. Simmons went viral during Sunday’s Oscar telecast.

“Call your mom, everybody,” said Simmons on the air. “I’m told there’s like a billion people or so (watching). Call your mom. Call your dad, if you are lucky enough to have a parent or two alive on this planet. Don’t text. Don’t e-mail. Call ’em on the phone. Tell them you love them, and thank them, and listen to them for as long as they want to talk to you.”

Tapping his hand over his heart, he concluded, “Thank you, Mom and Dad.”

Incredibly, some people actually chose to negatively and sarcastically respond to his heartfelt speech. Even in the beauty of JK Simmons’ empathic and genuine life lesson learned, some chose to dismantle it into some 20 seconds of reflected fame and 140 characters of cynical disdain.  

 

jk simmons call your mother

Today, we can be blocked, disconnected, deleted and dismissed.  It is easy to be callous and careless, when you have one or two parents still alive.  For all the emancipation and estrangement, a parent welcomes (except for unusual circumstances) an adult child’s attempt at communication and reconciliation.

You are blessed to be someone’s child.

Losing a parent hurts, even when you are older in years, because your heart never forgets.  The person who used to tell you that he or she is proud of you is gone. The source of your personal history, and witness to it, is no longer there to be your cheerleader or sounding board.

Having experienced three losses so close together, I understand that feeling of grief and mourning.  We continue to talk to our loved ones, but  we cannot hear their replies.

Grief_elise thomlinson

Simmons told the Detroit Free Press that his Oscar comments were spontaneous and reflect what he’s learned since losing his father, who died in 2012, and his mother, who passed away in 2014.

“That sort of just fell out of my mouth, and it’s because I am a parent, because I loved my parents deeply and they were such wonderful parents and role models and we lost both of them in the last couple of years,” he said by phone. “I think it’s one of those things you can’t know until you know, like having a baby. You can’t know what it’s like until it happens. I had a wonderful relationship with my parents, but you can’t know what it feels like to be an orphan. Even if you’re an orphan when you’re 59 years old, you’re still an orphan. And it’s hard, so I want people to appreciate what they have.”

Make the most of the gifts that you have been given and recognize that it is, indeed, a gift.

Let those whom you love know just how much they matter ~ and come to appreciate the value and wisdom they carry.

Thank you JK Simmons for your life-affirming message, and your empathy, to turn your singular moment into one others could share and learn from.

 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for stopping by! I hope that you enjoy your visit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Look at the eye contact passing between mother and daughter before the tape even begins!!  Oooooooohh.

The Academy Awards ~ bright lights, expensive gowns, hair and makeup, and publicity. Lots of publicity!

Melanie Griffith grins at her daughter and tries to keep her comments brief.  Asked if she will see the movie, she says that she cannot and does not need to see it to know how special her daughter is as an actress.

Meanwhile, Dakota Johnson just keeps plugging away. “It is just a movie. You can see it. I am telling you that you can see it.”

Mom Melanie is biting her tongue so hard, she is pulling her own jaw tighter than all that plastic surgery.

No mother wants to watch her child have sex, let alone have to discuss it.  After 24 years of cleaning up vomit, seeing you through chicken pox and stitches, and the misery of adolescence, a mother wants peace.  Mom does not want to watch you naked, and handcuffed to a bed, writhing erotically and moaning, while some sociopath hurts you to feel like a man. You are just going to have to take my word for it.

Dakota just keeps going like the steaming locomotive that all adult children are, with a one track mind, ready to run you over.  But just in case, this adult child will run you over several more times just to make sure you are dead and she has won the argument.

Awkward.

Melanie Griffith is smiling at her daughter.  “Ok, sweetheart….I am so proud.”

Meanwhile, she is silently screaming in her head: 

WE ARE IN FRONT OF ONE BILLION PEOPLE IN OVER 100 COUNTRIES.  FOR THE LOVE OF G-D, STOP YOUR WHINING.  I WILL FIGHT WITH YOU LATER IN THE LIMOUSINE.

Big Smile to the interviewer.

Meanwhile, Dakota does not give up.  It is her constitutional right to keep badgering the point with her mother

~ and actually gives her mother the {eye roll} seen and heard around the world.

As a parent of a young adult, you observe some of the uncomfortable and painful posturing that goes on between other parents and their children, particularly in social conditions.  The adult child is over the age of 21 and demands to be heard, as well as having the last word, on any subject involving her.

As parents, what we really want is to simply end the fight with as few words as possible.  We want compromise, and if at all possible, a shred of dignity.

While we do not want to see anyone suffer, it is a comfort to know that other parents are struggling to navigate the huge minefield of emotions, hormones, and independence.

Then, you realize that even with all the advantages this child grew up with, sadly, the tentative relationship between mothers and daughters is something we each have to go through.  So, maybe, we are not doing so badly after all.

(I truly empathize with this mother because those of us with young adult, or adolescent children, have been in this messy verbal sparring before.  There is no black and white as a mother……..as we endeavour to try our best, it is ALL Shades of Gray!…..I will leave the masochism jokes to someone else).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate your visit and comments.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

%d bloggers like this: