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see only things on the surface

“No one reaches out to you for compassion or empathy so you can teach them how to behave better.  They reach out to us because they believe in our capacity to know our darkness well enough to sit in the dark with them.”                       ― Brene Brown

Some people prefer superficiality; it means that they don’t have to invest or make any effort.  It is expedient and assures a lack of depth.  Yet, those same people expect, or demand, our utmost respect and loyalty.  You cannot access people’s most positive emotions while reflecting negative ones.  People cannot be bullied into love any more than they can feel safe or trusting with someone who denies their real selves.  Existing is not the same as authenticity.  Our deepest connections are forged with characteristics that lie below the surface: vulnerability, compassion, kindness, empathy, courage, hope, anxiety, fear, pain, inspiration, spirituality, gratitude, encouragement, and acceptance.

“The opposite of recognizing that we’re feeling something is denying our emotions. The opposite of being curious is disengaging. When we deny our stories and disengage from tough emotions, they don’t go away; instead, they own us, they define us. ”       Brene Brown

let there be an opening below the chaos

Confidence and courage is knowing that you have a story that is tearing you apart, but being able to share, as well as listen to another, with empathy and sensitivity.  Each of us has felt grief and despair; acknowledging it and being treated with dignity lightens the load, even for a brief moment. Ask anyone with an invisible illness how hard it is to carry on in pain and show the barest slice of the self on the surface.  It is a daily struggle.  No one deserves it nor brought it upon themselves.  Denying someone else’s pain is cruel and isolating.  There are others to whom we try to share our shame and our deepest trust is shattered adding to our lack of self-acceptance and access to external judgment.

“Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning and purpose to our lives.”       Brene Brown

its what you look like on the inside


Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.









  1. Interesting view. I thought being superficial was the more taxing way to pursue because you have to fabricate. If you are completely honest with yourself; then, you become more like a conduit letting everything pass through you.

    • Thank you for your comment. What I meant was that there are some people who prefer surface/superficial interaction so that they don’t have to interact on a deeper level. Perhaps I was unclear. I agree with you, it is harder and exhausting to pretend and cover up your emotions.

    • Josslyn Rae Turner
    • Posted August 11, 2016 at 5:43 pm
    • Permalink
    • Reply

    Wow! This is so poignant and beautifully written. ❤

    • Thank you for such a generous compliment. It means more than you know. 🙂

        • Josslyn Rae Turner
        • Posted August 11, 2016 at 10:34 pm
        • Permalink

        You’re very welcome! 🙂

  2. loved it,its true we tend not to show our real self due to what others think hence living half lives which is unfulfilling indeed

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