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family loyalty_haniel long

 

Family is one of my priorities in this lifetime.

I have been blessed with a large and loving family.  If there is a crisis, all hands are on deck and we are fiercely protective and involved.  While we didn’t all live in the same place, because we had love for each other, our children grew up to love as well.  Is there such a thing as a perfect family?  I certainly don’t know of one.  Our family, like yours, has its own issues and plenty of baggage.  I have endured difficult family struggles and attitudes by some.  It can complicate matters, or cause revisionist histories, when there are misunderstandings in action or communication.

My family is divided as my children live in four different locations in North America and have very widely different philosophies.  (Yes, you guys really are all related!) But, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of each, and try to figure out how to be the best mother to each vastly individual and unique adult child.  We don’t stop being mothers, or worrying, when they leave home.

As a parent, I may not be part of their daily lives, but I carry them with me in all that I do and think about.  There are bonds of blood and bone that connect us.  I am grateful when I observe them extending kindness and compassion to others.  It thrills me and fills my heart to see them show respect to their grandparents and friendship to their cousins.  Having respect for my siblings, and all of their children and grandchildren, my children have witnessed long-term loyalty, and empathy, and that we choose to live it.

Good, bad, or indifferent – we are a family.  There is no such thing as “unconditional love.”  Everyone has a judgment, or strongly held belief or opinion, and absolutely NO fear of expressing it.  But, it is my great hope, in my legacy as a parent, that my children continue to be part of each other’s lives.

When you speak of a family, and each member’s contribution to it, you do not leave out one because they are geographically distant.  If there is truly love and respect, it is understood that we stand united whether emotionally or physically.  The lessons that we learn in our families affect the balance in our future relationships.

We come together when there are milestones and life events, both happy and sad.  We are a family and we don’t pick and choose who has value, or who matters more, as if it were a competition.

Each member has a hand in caring for another and all are important parts of the whole. We are a family and all are welcome and special at our table.

family means no one get forgotten_david ogden stiers

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What does family loyalty look or feel like to you?

Thank you for stopping by!  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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7 Comments

  1. …though I am often afraid of expressing an opinion. ;^)

  2. Your truth and honesty about family dynamics is refreshing. I cannot say the same for my family, I am one of 4 siblings, 1 brother who died at his own hand a few years ago and was estranged from his 3 sisters, and all of us(3 sisters) are estranged from one another- because of intolerance and judgments and the inability to accept differences. It has made life easier in many ways- less complicated.

    • Lisa, this is a conversation I wish we could have over coffee. I am sure we both would have a great deal to share…..

  3. Being an only child, I am used to being in my parents’ thoughts every day. We are not a big family – I have two children who live at other ends of this country. As you say, they are always in my thoughts, and they stand up for each other and help people in need. My greatest happiness! They grew up to be independent and strong in loyalty and empathy – I wish I could see them more often. But they have their own, busy lives with studies and work.


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