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you are so nice its annoying

 

When you choose to operate out of concern and empathy for others and their feelings, you generate suspicion in those who don’t understand such a concept.  I have experienced the dissatisfaction of dealing with people who look for the easy, avoidant, and half-fast way, of doing things.  There are people who figure out the benefit to them and figure that everyone else has to clumsily peddle through, even if they are drowning.

I simply cannot fathom this kind of thinking.  My upbringing was public in some ways and we knew that how we behaved would reflect on our parents and family.  We were taught to be upright, share, think about how another might feel, and reach out to give a smile first.  Also, if your hands aren’t broken, think about the next person.

Today, I have found that this kind of attitude freaks some people out.  They don’t get it and figure that there must be something nasty lurking beneath the supposed façade that draws their ire and suspicion.  There is some perverse desire to convince others that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows (not that I think it all is, I am too introspective for that).   Have you had this experience?

My empathy is not based on anyone else’s expectation.  There are those who do expect it from me regardless of how they treat me; some people will take advantage of sensitive and empathetic personalities.  What can be a weakness is also a blessing.  I see and feel too much with concern about others’ needs, often more than my own.  But, I also recognize the signs of pain, embarrassment, fear, sadness, and desperation in others that requires a special and careful way of speaking to comfort.  My awareness and memory of peoples’ words, actions, behavior and energies means that I can assess things pretty quickly.  But, it would be nice to be wrong and see a person grow, improve or change for the better, and that is when I have hoped for too long for things to be different.

The hard part is when I try to seek the good, or trust deep down, that I would give no less of to people, and it is abused.

When someone told me that they have struggled to find nice people and that they weren’t letting go of me, I realized just what a confession and compliment that was.  So, in cases of suspicion, let me clarify:  I am not getting anything out of it.  My behavior is a reflection of my values and respect.  Yes, I really can be so concerned.  But, no, I cannot be taken advantage of indefinitely.  Sadly, what I have had to learn from suspicious people is that there is a reason they are so suspicious and it generally has nothing to do with me directly.

Approach me honestly, and openly, and I will return the effort while we both try to bring back some restored faith in humanity.

suspicious minds_tom hanks

 

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https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/suspicious/

Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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12 Comments

    • Breathing Deeply
    • Posted February 14, 2018 at 4:08 pm
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    • Reply

    Great post! Self care while also keeping the kindness and good going can be a delicate balance, but one well worth the effort. This broken world needs all the love we can give.

  1. Soooo true ❤️

    • Nice to find a kindred spirit 🙂

      • Indeed. When one is truly empathic it is never about ourselves, it is about supporting and understanding others. Most individuals are simply self interested and wish only to promote themselves amongst others. They expect you to be the same, hence the querolous looks and slightly perplexed and suspicious responses to our actions.

      • exactly!

  2. Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
    YEAH–ISN’T THAT GREAT? 😀

  3. Oh friend, this is my life! I can’t help but care about others, no matter how much it weirds them out. I wouldn’t be who I am if I just let people be in hard places without coming to their sides.

  4. It does really stink that many people approach pleasant interactions with suspicion. It makes me sad to think about the possible reasoning behind that. I’ll keep trying to remember that it isn’t about me but about them and their circumstances.

    • I know what you mean….I want the best in and for people, but sincerity and attention is not always reciprocated.


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