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Category Archives: Age

beware of women who do not hide their age_oscar wilde

“You look so pretty, for your age.”

After I finished hearing my knees creak in the silence that followed, I thanked the fine person, but it is those three little words – for your age – that kind of take the wind out of your sails.  So, on behalf of those of us who have accumulated hard-won life experience, and built more character than we can use in one lifetime, I will tell you how much I appreciate a woman of “a certain age.”

A real woman is not afraid to be honest or talk openly about the battle scars that she has earned along the way. Whether funny or sad, the scars add up and we keep going, adding even more stories and sighs than we ever thought possible.  We no longer have the patience for the drama or knocks to our self-esteem because we know who we are, inside and out, and are true survivors.

Real women of a certain age are able to judge people on their own merits without having to cyber stalk them. We have learned to assess a situation, or person, and to trust our intuition.  We don’t need to speak just to be heard.  If someone is genuinely listening, we can have a great conversation.  Otherwise, a strong woman leaves the superficial behind; our time and peace of mind is too precious.

We acknowledge that while we have made many mistakes, we have done the very best we could at the time, and continue to grow and improve. In my opinion, one of the signs of a strong mentally mature and confident woman is when she stops seeing other women as competition and considers how to align and mentor instead.  When the hard choices have to be made, and no one else will accept the responsibility, a strong woman will step up.

I love a real woman who is honest, open, loyal, and able to laugh out loud. Acceptance through self-awareness and experience is what makes a woman of a certain age a joy to behold ~ and the best kind of friend or colleague to cultivate.


Thanks for stopping by!  I hope that you enjoy your visit.


Watching another set of elderly parents change, consider, reconsider, and wait to be told the “right” answer is so painful.  It brings up fear and and anxiety for those who cannot recall the numerous complicated steps to the the waltz of Life. It shows a glimpse of those things that will have to be attended to, coordinated and arranged for the unwilling participants. 

For me, as I try to be strong and dependable in the light of another crisis of time, faith and family,   there are moments of tears and flooding memories.  It feels like a post traumatic stress response to the the sounds of decay, despair and discordant notes in the trailing notes of the last song.

It has to be OK because there is no other way out.  But the path is no longer clear to walk.  It is always in shadow, with dried twigs and brambles to step around cautiously.  There is movement in darkened corners and fear from not having been on this route before.  There will be many adjustments and accommodations to make the necessary baggage lighter and lighter, until only the soul lifts off to the light, leaving the body with the empty husks and teetering emptiness of acorn shells on the abandoned pathway.


This beautiful writer uses words generously and gorgeously.

90 is the new 30, the frustrating numbers we believe.

mirror mirror

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall….
I am the dichotomy of Snow White and the Queen. My mother was the original “Snow White” dubbed by her friends for her striking blue black hair and porcelain Dutch skin. The lessons learned from her and the family she created weave through my writing. She combined beauty with brains and I hope that people look beyond my façade and see the intelligence and empathy within.

The combination of light and dark, good and not so good, are part of the Snow White story. Evil is an extreme judgment call when no one gets to know what really goes on inside of a Queen’s head. Besides, getting old is a b*tch. There is always some sweet young thing who has never needed eye cream in her life and thinks that Weight Watchers are the people waiting on the street for the new iPhone release. Beauty vs. Brains ~ G-d gives and G-d takes away. Just saying.

Age brings planning, life experience, strength, fortitude and knowledge of the unsavory aspects of our world. It also means that we don’t necessarily handle nonsense well. The Queen resides in me as well.

But, I digress. Unable to tan without burning, I don’t even try anymore. I just say that I am “embracing my inner Snow White.” Red lips have always suited me and red nails to match are gorgeous! Also, the dress with the wide, wide, wide bottom to cover the hips is a fabulous idea.

Waiting for my prince to come has been replaced with waiting for my paycheck. There are far younger, more beautiful members in my family who have inherited my mother’s striking Snow White coloring. We celebrate these princesses as well. My mother’s wonder at nature and desire to share her love of the world with us brought us many outdoor day trips as children. As corny as it sounds, she loved to look out at her garden to see the gift of nature and she truly enjoyed listening to the chirping of the birds, even to the end of her days.

Snow-White-teary with animals

Dad did not join in; besides too much work, there was no air conditioning. Being a Queen (or King) means making the hard choices.

There is deep empathy that wells within me and sensitivity to the sights, sounds, and energies of my surrounding. A genuine smile and desire to help is well-ingrained from childhood. Also, we are protective of those whom we love and the power of family. We respect our histories and responsibilities. The tears and sadness of goodbye and others’ struggles is part of who I am as well. My writing may be wry at times, but is always aware of the kindnesses needed to care for this world and those relegated to the outside and struggling to see through the forest for the trees. I fight for what I believe in.


My heart is on my sleeve and I express what I feel or think. Sometimes cruelty will silence me, as it is meant to do, and I want to avenge the wrongs done to others. My writing is personal, direct and opinionated. Add black hair, white skin and lipstick and we are looking into that Mirror.

Age and circumstance have also made me the Queen. Older, wiser and perceptive, the Queen can direct behind the scenes. Understanding the secrets within and others’ motivation, she rules her kingdom cautiously and fiercely protects her own territory. This is a necessary evil in our day to day interactions.

With stress, anxiety, family, and financial issues, I would also kill to get a deep solid sleep!
snow white sleeping colored orbs

The Queen may not always be in the spotlight, but when she is, I adore her eye makeup! She looks like a MAC cosmetics makeover ready for the runway. Dramatic eyes always work, especially with those juicy red lips.

evil queen illustration

Lastly, I may be sweet but I don’t want any little ol’ men patronizing me. Apple, anyone?

thanks for stopping by! It means more than you know.

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