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Category Archives: Empathy

i was quiet but i was not blind

This is one of many quotes that resonates with me.  I have been an observer all of my life and much of it has been of people.  As I have gotten older and lived through more experiences, I have been able to filter even more of those things that I have seen.  As an empathetic person, there have been people who have hurt, used (or misused), and abused my nature.  Wanting to believe the best of people can blind us to some and their true natures.  Since I could never imagine behaving that way, or treating another person in such a manner, it was shocking to me in the realization.

It has also become aware that people are not aware of the many aspects of their behavior that show over and over their nature and character beyond their words.  For example, someone who complains about the attention that they get and then does everything short of wearing spinning lights to get attention.  The words and actions do not correlate.

Another thing that has become clearer to me, over the years, is observing facial and body cues, and being able to understand without hearing the words how someone feels and how the communication is going.

That silence is a comfort for some who need some understanding and compassion without having to find the words, or speak about it before they are ready, to describe the hurt or loss that they have experienced.  At times, helping someone along by sharing that pain silently gives them strength and comfort.  If so, I am grateful to be able to provide such.

Being observant and empathic is a lot of stimulus.  Indeed, perhaps, life would be easier if I could turn away or not pay so much attention.  The aspects of my brain and personality just won’t do it.  I come from a long line of observers of human nature and whether through nature, or nurturing it over many years, this is who I am.  For those who seek it out, it is a compassion that they are grateful for.  To those who are interviewing, they have come to trust my opinion and confirmed what I have seen.

But, like many observers, seeing so much needs to be kept quiet, for the truth can be overwhelming for others who are not ready to see or have chosen to look away.

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we all need somebody to talk to

Authenticity is a popular word today and used in so many variations from a hashtag anthem to self-awareness.  In its origin, from the Greek “authenticos” it came to mean genuine, and ultimately, trustworthy, as it referred to someone’s authority or recognized  signature.   In the Art world, a signed piece of art always needs to be “authenticated” to assure that it is legitimate.

While being authentic means to be genuine, rather than fake or copied, it was meant to be a representation of the vulnerable and flawed, but still beautiful, parts of ourselves.    People don’t want to have to apologize for who they are while others look down upon them.  There is a need for acceptance, tolerance, and understanding of our individual quirks or beliefs, our illnesses, and life experience.

However, I don’t believe that it was supposed to be an excuse to hurt people or behave in a cruel way.  “Well, you don’t want me to lie, do you….?” or some such remark to minimize the words and actions.

Being yourself in a world that is trying to change you, or expects you to look a certain way like a one-size-fits-all body, is a step of bravery.   Being cruel is not.  You may authentically be mean, but that is another story, and not one I would personally celebrate.

People are genuinely hurt, have broken hearts, and may struggle to live a good life.  When people ask how you are, and your reply is “Fantastic,” every single time, that is not necessarily authentic.  Life is not always perfect and there are ups and downs – not one individual is perfect all the time, not even in our sleep (look at how many snore or have sleep apnea!).

Emotional or physical pain is genuine, perhaps a given in certain circumstances, and having to lie about it or hide it is exhausting.  You may not respect or appreciate it as such, but pain is real and you cannot quantify how much it hurts another.

On the flipside, an authentic person doesn’t shy away from telling the truth in sincerity and vulnerability because expressing pain is not always negative.

Living an authentic life means deeply acknowledging what our values and priorities are and how we choose to express them.  It is appreciating a new way of thinking derived from introspection and awareness of one’s genuine goals or desires.  It is a way of behaving and operating from an internal barometer of truth and the underlying desire to seek and create restored faith in our humanity.

Being authentic means reviewing our own behavior and making necessary adjustments in our relationships with others; it is a reflection of the internal voice and the self.  When we believe so greatly in our ego that we feel we have the right to tell someone else how to live, be, and feel, we need to rethink what constitutes genuine compassion and empathy.

never-apologize-for-showing-feeling-when-you-do-so-you-apologize-for-the-truth-quote-1

 

 

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https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/authentic/

Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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empathy_johann wolfgang von goethe

 

I found this to be so encouraging.  Sometimes, we feel powerless or think that we are “stuck,” yet we have the power to create our own spirit within our daily lives to rise above those issues that cause our ego to feel pain.   Our choice is to remain among the bitter, or become one such person seeing them seemingly getting ahead by their bad behavior, or raise our standards above what others may understand.  It is for us, not for them, however, if our example should happen to lift another, we are more fortunate for that opportunity to be of courage and understanding.

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Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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explore. dream. discover.jpg

Exploration is so often linked to travel to distant places.  Yet, exploration of the self is a commitment to that distance as well.

It is easier for some to run away, to turn, to keep busy, to occupy, to plan, or escape rather than search inside themselves.

Memories and habits are limited, or measured in a harsh light, and the preparation to understand ourselves and our reactions to things is something we would rather not delve into too deeply.

quote_carl jung_who looks inside awakes

For me, there is so much to explore in the brain and personality, yet we have so little information.  Each person is a universe of billions of cells and neurons that we have yet to discover.  In the scheme of things, we know so little with limited ways to learn about ourselves and others.

Possibilities and options – different ways of thinking, being, and doing – is a way to explore each day without leaving home.  There is no equipment or packing needed, and no travel to faraway places, to explore in the reflection of the mind, accountability and development of self, and our relationships with others.

people are oceans.jpg

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https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/explore/

Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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