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Category Archives: Parenting

generations by gilad

I love you and you will always be my child. I have been trying to stretch and grow to accommodate your view of life, but I realize that I am uncomfortable at times. Perhaps, it is because I am out of my comfort zone trying to be inside of yours. When I raised you, I had hoped to give you good character and kindness. Given your origins, independence, intelligence, and strong opinions could not help but be part of your nature. Sometimes, those opinions hurt me. You know I am sensitive and I was an easy target. But, still, I love you.

You have chosen to live your life differently than I have chosen to live mine. I try to keep my door open to you whenever you want to walk through it. We have made, and continue to make, different choices. I did not want to choose sides. I thought that I could lean over and hold on to all of them…. I want to be a part of your life and hope that you will grow to love me and include me in yours. However much I think we are the same, there is still too much difference. I am grateful that you are happy, but your version of happiness does not look quite like mine.

Will we grow to understand each other more as you grow in years? Will you choose me willingly, or reluctantly, to be a part of your life?

With every fiber of my being, you are like a limb; I could not imagine my life without you. When you are hurt and sad, I want to fix anything that happens to you. I want to comfort you and be the one who can make you stop crying or heal your pain. That fierce desire to care for and protect you will never change. But, you have found a love, that no parent can compete with, who reaches a part of your heart that I never will. As you grow, the brilliant colors are being added to your personal landscape.

What I am realizing, is that I want to walk with you on your path always, but you are walking on a road that I cannot follow. I am proud of you for choosing what you believe in and being self-sufficient. You are a wonderful friend and caring to those whom you love and cherish. You do not do everything the way that I do, nor do we have the same long term ideas, even though I wish we did. Please don’t judge me so harshly when you ask me to love you unconditionally.

Wanting to keep you near, but having to let you go is harder than you may think. Giving you roots, and wings, sounds easier than it is despite the gratitude that I feel as your parent. I can tell you that you were very wanted and are greatly loved. I did the best that I could at the time and continue to learn every day. If we are lucky enough, both of us will continue to improve until the last day of our lives.

With all my many words, ideas, and ideals, I still cannot seem to say the right thing. We do not agree on the method despite sharing the theory. We struggle to communicate at times. I am not perfect, and as special as you are, neither are you. We are two humans hoping to heal the future and right the errors of the past. While humans tend to focus on the bad, I hope that you will recall happy memories as well.

I hope you can grow to respect me and my feelings. I know that our relationship can be fragile despite the many years that I raised you. While you may not feel the same way, or understand, I promise you that you are a part of me always. As long as you are living, my baby you will be.

Remember, once I was your home.

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quote-nonsense-wakes-up-the-brain-cells-and-it-helps-develop-a-sense-of-humor-which-is-awfully-dr-seuss-266023

“The dishwasher needs to be emptied and could you sort your laundry?”
‘What do you do when I am not here?’
‘Can you buy this?’
‘Do you need change?’
‘You over analyze everything!’

Adolescent angst and righteous indignation from a son to his clueless mother.

Thank G-d for my grandchildren!

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http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_writing_challenge/fifty-word-inspiration/
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conceptual by sadalit

Daily Prompt: Don’t You Forget About Me

I remember working until four days before my first child was born. I had gotten a college degree, a license to sell securities, begun an M.B.A. and moved countries. All of those things occurred before I was married!

Life changed and it did not. I wanted to be a mother and could not imagine who I would have been if I had not been able to become one. However, after the rush of things to do academically and career-wise, in those early 20’s, I discovered that old habits died hard.

Right after my son was born, I remember distinctly worrying about my resume and being sure that it was up to date so I could find another job if and when I had to. Then, being the ambitious person that I was, I knew that I wanted my children to have siblings close in age. That was a legacy that my mother gifted to me. So, I thought that I could raise two babies as easily as one.

People made jokes and asked me if I “Knew how it happened” and “What about buying a TV?” But we had our million dollar family. Over the next five years, we were blessed to make it a two million dollar family.

The things I want my children to remember are not the ones that they do. Sadly, the worst moments of our lives often live longer in memory than the crazy, fun, or creative ones. As a mother, it seems that the only legacy I leave is the one viewed in my children’s’ eyes. They will share what they recall with their children and friends. That is who I will be. Whether I tried to be that person, or not, that is how I will remain.

At the end of my days though, I will know in my heart, as I do now, that I was able to give my children the legacy of family. My mother was the historian and the fun grandmother. My father is the one who earned my children’s respect and whose advice they seek. So, if I do nothing else right, I had the decency to be born to wonderful parents ~~~ who made fabulous grandparents and great grandparents!

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/16/prompt-dont-foget/
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cartoon of boy with the flu

As a parent, I have tried to teach empathy and compassion to my children. We want to model behavior that will make an impression and reach the depths of human love and kindness.

Sometimes, a teacher can make an unforgettable impact with his ability to open his heart and show his students a lesson that will last a lifetime. For my son, and others, a compassionate and empathetic act will never be forgotten.

It has been a snowy and difficult winter. The Polar Vortex became a part of our vocabulary and people struggled all across the United States in bitter cold, ice storms and record-breaking snowfalls. Along with that, people became sick with colds, viruses, and the flu; all that time indoors may have been too much togetherness.

At the school my son attends, over 60 boys, in the dorm, were sick with the flu. Rising snow drifts and cold drafty apartments did not help anyone to feel better. A teacher with a heart of gold and an empathetic soul rounded up the boys who were still feeling fine. He sent them to the grocery store for ingredients and together they made a huge pot of soup.

The pot was so heavy, that it was carried by two boys, one on each side. The teacher, and his students, went from room to room, and bed to bed. They gave out bowls of soup and stopped to ask each young man how he was feeling and chatted a bit. It was not enough to acknowledge that they were sick; offering comfort in warm food and kind words taught a lesson more deeply than I could in 18 years.

A little creativity, sincerity and empathy can make an impact that will never be forgotten. My husband and I were so touched, and grateful, when we heard the story from our son. As parents, we wonder what trouble our children can get into away from home with unknown influences. This was a teaching moment that made a difference to each student that day, whether they were receiving kindness or sharing it.

What small act of kindness and empathy could you create that would be unforgettable?
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A good post reaches for your heart and remains on your mind.

Thank you so much for stopping by! It means more than you know.
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