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Category Archives: Psychology

The search for Artificial Intelligence is abuzz on the Internet. Just Google “Google” and read about their major purchase of technology that will help to expand the use of ordinary items and reimagined integration with computers in the future.

Myriad articles online, and in magazines, discuss the impact that Artificial Intelligence — computers and drones — will have on employment and task-oriented jobs over the next ten to twenty years. However, one thing is clear; while computers can be trained by engineers, and complex logarithms, they are only representational of rational thought. Black and white mathematics, accounting formulas, and document sifting by computers can save thousands of labor hours. Legal firms are already using programs to help them sift through documents, needed in court trials, with the help of complex computations and search methods.

In truth, we are already surrounded by “artificial intelligence” in our daily lives.

Motivation by fear is an act of artificial intelligence. It is not a long term motivator; this has been proven by millions of dollars of psychological and neuro-scientific research. Yet it happens in homes and offices every day in desperation of grabbing hold of some sense of control. “Just wait until your father comes home……..” used to put a little fear into children. But children grow up and, as adults, know better. Threats don’t inspire or encourage growth. In fact, the part of the brain that registers fear actually blocks memory. So, essentially, while you are trying to scare someone into learning a skill, you are blocking his ability to do so. See, what I mean? Artificial Intelligence and false communications.

Intelligent people can lack people skills. Smart people can lack common sense. People, who do things with ulterior motives, can break down trust, create suspicion, and destroy loyalty. There are those who are incapable of thinking beyond WIIFM (What is in it for me). The decisions that they make and the behaviors that they show only serve the self.

Complex cognitive brain functions and processes include kindness, compassion, empathy, generosity, understanding, respect, and charity. Such characteristics are counter-intuitive to the basic primal need for self-preservation and a hierarchy of needs. Truly compassionate and altruistic people reach out to others’ needs before their own.

Empathy is feeling what someone else feels, stepping into their shoes, and how to help them in the most useful manner for his or her needs and situation. Creating empathy is not just strong for neural function but it defies calculation. There is no algorithm for laughter, a hug, true love, the delight of a new mother……those emotions cannot be replicated. If you are fake in your concern, or attempt to make conversation without emotion, human connectedness does not occur. Genuine kindness lights up neurons in the brain, and causes brain chemistry, to produce healing and strengthening chemicals to aid the wellness of a person.

If emotions are merely imitated for show, they lack the essence of spirit and heart. When someone asks you a question without caring about the answer, it rings hollow. No artificial emotion or string of words could replace the truth and gratitude in accepting sincere kindness. Asking “How are you?” and walking away before the answer is given…..The reply could be “Fine” as easily as it could be “I shot an elephant in my pajamas last night.” You don’t know because you did not stop long enough to listen.

Who knows how much good could be created in another’s life simply by listening for two minutes longer?

In my humble opinion, these are the truest acts of intelligence we need, into the future, for the survival, growth, and development of the human race.

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Even two year olds can step into the shoes of another person. As we develop and experience Empathy, it can create positive social change ~ one by one or around the world.

See past the labels and nurture your curiosity about others. It is possible to care for others and yourself.

Empathy is not superficial nor a measuring stick. It is just a human being, in a moment, being accessible and vulnerable enough to allow someone else to reflect against and upon him without fear of losing himself in any way. Rather than diminish, it expands one’s being.

Being an Empathy Queen is more than just talk.

Thank you for stopping by! It means more than you know.
Wishing you the best and the brightest!

Yet another terrible public shooting took place this week. Motives are being judged, questions are being juggled, and the lack of answers are staggering.

In each and every situation of rage, horror, loss of life, and innocent victims, the first question asked is if there was evidence of mental illness. Not everyone with a mental disability is violent. Not all violent acts are committed by people with a mental health issue. There are many triggers and motives for why people behave the way they do. Should we classify the desire for fame, power, greed, jealousy, or money a mental illness? Or is that simply a personality type?

Today the media and politicians are asking why Mr. Alexis’ security clearance was not revoked and asking for greater permission and parameters to determine unsuitability going forward.

We have one in four people, according to the NIH, with a mental disability or mood disorder experience. Scientists are determining that many of these run along the same gene in the brain. A mental disability includes depression, anxiety or panic attacks, dyslexia, learning disabilities, postpartum depression, schizophrenia, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome, and numerous and varied criteria along the Autism spectrum. Let’s not forget about other issues like Parkinson’s, ALS, MS, Alzheimer’s, strokes and more that involve blockages or neurons misfiring in the brain. There are people who are fortunate enough to have survived aneurisms, but that too may affect brain function and cognition. There are elderly and others who suffer from dementia ~ a mental disability ~ but not necessarily a violent one.

If every single person with a mental disability was declared unfit to work, our federal agencies and buildings would be empty. The reality is that turning away from the admission and acceptance of mental health issues does not make them go away; it may make them harmful or deadly.

The brain is so infinite in its neural pathways, neurons, unique chemistry, and wiring and unwiring, coiling and resetting that each case of mental illness is unique. Yet, many doctors and mental health professionals are tired of jumping through the hoops and reams of paperwork necessary to get paid for their services. With 48 million people in the US unable to afford or qualify for health insurance, and our stagnating unemployment rate, those who need help cannot afford to get it. Our levels of debt preclude health care for other survival necessities. For others, the bureaucracy is so overwhelming that they cannot navigate the system which can aggravate their symptomology. Many live in fear of retribution and judgment and avoid seeking the help that could save their, and others’, lives. Stigma. Fear. Isolation.

The highest suicide rates are among returning War Veterans and people over 50. Cyber bullying is causing children to turn to suicide. We are losing our best and our brightest. The strong men and women who protect our nation could be dismissed if they admitted to requiring psychological help. Medical records are no longer private since they must be reviewed to determine competency, so many will not seek treatment for fear of being turned away from a job or placement. Acknowledgment could be grounds for dismissal in any profession.

So, the stigma, silence, shame, isolation and avoidance continue to grow. People have had to choose between their groceries and their medications for a long time now. Our standards for health care and accessibility are spiraling out of control faster than a manic episode.

People with no family history of mental illness can, and do, experience traumatic life instances that trigger mental health episodes. To say it is not so, is an untruth. To say it does not exist in your family, workplace, school, or community is also a mistruth. It is all around us and within us. Triggers like death, divorce, unemployment, foreclosure, bankruptcy, robbery and abuse are rampant in our daily lives. Some have become immune while others live in fear or anxiety of someone finding out that they are having trouble coping.

Proactively offering affordable and accessible health care, both physical and mental, is more effective and less of a financial and physical drain on our economy, medical professionals, first responders, emergency rooms and trauma centers, than treating after the fact. The human toll is too high a price to pay for no other way to relieve the inescapable.


I love when business recognizes the value of empathy and emotional intelligence in the workplace and the value of the social sciences in all walks of life. It is so often misunderstood, that people lose their humanity in pursuit of purely analytical thinking, control, dominance and manipulating weaknesses. In fact, the concept of these black and white traits have been identified as least likely admired or identified in those characteristics desired in others.

Some of the earlier ideas about what constitutes intelligence were studied by numerous researchers and psychologists and determined that cognition was not the only factor to the variety of ways in which people are smart. Several researchers and contributors to this field are well known in bringing awareness and understanding of the multiple ways in which people learn, grow and develop.

In 1983, Howard Gardner’s Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligence introduced the idea of multiple intelligences. This work began to impact modalities in education and the acknowledgment that learners were not strictly visual or auditory in their capabilities. In understanding the various ways in which people are smart, as well as developing methods to appeal to those whose strengths and ability to learn are driven by as many as nine personal strengths, teachers, psychologists, managers, colleagues, and parents discovered the many ways of processing information in others and had another utensil in their toolbox of skills . Two of those competencies include interpersonal intelligence (the capacity to understand the intentions, motivations and desires of other people) and intrapersonal intelligence (the capacity to understand oneself, to appreciate one’s feelings, fears and motivations).

Daniel Goleman began writing about Emotional Intelligence in 1995. Emotional intelligence competencies are learned abilities like the drive to achieve and emotional self-control, both of which build on underlying EI components like self-management. The four domains of emotional intelligence expand understanding through the inside and outside of one’s thinking and behavioral development. The domains are: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management.

His work has been utilized in the personal and professional arenas. His article “What Makes a Leader” has been called one of the Harvard Business Review’s top ten “must read” articles. He wrote about three abilities that distinguish the best leaders from average: self-awareness, which both lets you know your strengths and limits, and strengthens your inner ethical radar; self-management, which lets you lead yourself effectively; and empathy, which lets you read other people accurately. You put all those together in every act of leadership.

In a recent interview, Daniel Goleman stressed the crucial importance of psychology in understanding the needs of people. His use of Emotional Intelligence in leadership studies emphasizes the human element necessary in those skills needed to drive customers or employees because it is all based on people’s emotions.

For employees, how a leader makes them feel plays a large role in their level of motivation, commitment, and even drives their brain in (or out of) the best zone for marshaling whatever cognitive abilities and skills they bring to the job. For customers and clients, how they feel about their interactions with the people in an organization determines how they feel about the company as a whole.

Developing your best self by defining your passion, or the ubiquitous follow your bliss, is at its root the use of your emotional intelligence. This is part of finding your drive, presenting your spark and gaining a following and understanding of yourself and others. The use of multiple and emotional intelligences is critical to successful relationships in a wide range of arenas including between teachers and students, as well as, parents and children.

Sales may involve widgets, tangibles, and intangibles, but ultimately, the client is also buying the person selling those items. Products are available online, in brick and mortar establishments and through more and more flash and auction sites. The difference is how the transaction makes one feel about the person selling and providing the product and service. Daniel Pink echoes these thoughts in his most recent book To Sell is Human. Daniel Pink, a best-selling author, highlights the use of social science to create attunement and buoyancy whether in sales, cajoling kids, or acknowledging how we present ourselves to each other in our daily communications and interactions.

Another new book, The Athena Doctrine, written by John Gerzema, identifies the research and results of using more “female” natural abilities, sometimes identified as soft skills in the workplace. In his testing, he asked 64,000 women and men in 13 countries to classify 125 human traits–half of the sample by gender and the other half by which are most important to leadership, success, morality, and happiness today.

They consistently picked what they considered “feminine traits” or values–such as selflessness, empathy, collaboration, flexibility, and patience–as the most important. Legitimately, behavior does not have to be seen as feminine, or unmanly, as social science and other forms of non-classical intelligence quotient prove success among all genders, locations, ages, and belief systems.

Empathy is such a critical value that it benefits the workplace and personal lives as it is fundamental to success, morality and happiness.

Earlier this week, the Wall Street Journal wrote about the neurology and mental wellness associated with traits like empathy and social awareness. Critical brain pathways and networks are involved in our appraisals and understanding of social and emotional situations. The very delicate balance and neural connections contribute to our personal emotions, behaviors, and personality. Research studies have shown that one of the early indicators of health problems is the loss of the ability to empathize. Empathy helps us to correctly read and figure out meaningful emotional and environmental stimuli. Healthy brain function triggers messages to us to understand appropriate responses. Another social deficit in early illness is the inability to recognize insincerity and sarcasm. This becomes important in identifying social functioning in autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, Schizophrenia, Dementia and other disorders and spectrums that affect the brain.

Empathy is one of the most complex social skills and behaviors as it utilizes so many executive brain functions. The ability to read people, see the interactions, discriminate between sincere and insincere comments and actions, process information, and respond appropriately within social contexts and to another’s personal needs is a multi-layered healthy brain perception and emotional process.

Extending empathy, kindness, charity, openness, honesty, clarity, and awareness of others and their needs, creates healthier people and environments. Empathy is not a weakness but rather a strength to be admired, desired, and shared.

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