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Tag Archives: believe

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saying someone cant be sad because someone else has it better

To anyone who has suffered a loss of self – a job, a loved one, an estrangement, a broken heart, wrenching illness, pain, or the million other tragedies that occur out of our control – this is a most difficult season.

I am not minimizing the loving family images, or the stirrings of home and hearth, that they elicit. But, in the season of comparisons, we feel incomplete.

We want the fantasy; the cozy fire glowing and reflecting the lights and sparkle of holidays sets us dreaming.

However, this is the season of comparison.

To those who still continue to grieve, or have just begun, regardless of the length of time, our mourning has no expiration date. Seeing all those happy shiny faces is a stark reminder of what, and whom, we have lost. The family traditions and holiday overload can be painful knowing our hearts will never be quite healed and that there are certain times that can accentuate the particular pain and loss that is being endured. It is hard to remember that you are not alone and that not everyone has a perfect life behind the facade.

We are thankful and acknowledge our gratitude and appreciation. Yet, we are also quite aware that we are no longer the same person in the “new normal.” For someone else to suggest that we don’t deserve to acknowledge our sadness, loss, and sorrow, is a selfish and gratuitous remark; like all of the other platitudes such as “Life goes on” and “You are still grieving?!” Remember, these comments are a lack of empathy on someone else’s part and do not represent a failing in you. You deserve to take as much time as you need to mourn your respective loss.

Sometimes, the best we can hope for is a kind friend. Grief and heartache are individual, and too delicate, to place in the hands of those who cannot understand for they have never walked the journey.

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Thank you for stopping by! I hope that you enjoy your visit.
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be yourself

When you begin to realize that you let someone else’s efforts to silence you, demean you, cage you, or keep you from the truth of who you are, it is time to take a step back.

Take a deep breath. Feel the beating of your heart and know that it seeks to help others. Close your eyes and feel the flow of breath that runs through you. Slow down your racing heart and acknowledge that you are just who you need to be.

If it is not good enough for someone else, it never will be. No matter how many times you try to accommodate someone else’s limits on who you are, or could be, the hardest part to accept is that they are not going to change. They will not suddenly see or recognize all the light that shines within you.

Even though you would never think, or behave that way, and believe that there is room for everyone to succeed, some people will never get it. They will feel threatened and try to control you through any means possible.

Letting yourself succeed is harder than it seems. Allowing yourself the freedom to choose, to speak, to believe, and have faith that things will improve will free you from someone else’s struggle to control. Looking back will not change the past, but looking forward and being true to yourself will give you hope. Hope is the first step to love, to confidence, to change, and to freedom.

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starry sky

Mandela quote

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Thank you so much for stopping by! I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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