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Tag Archives: compassion

we all need somebody to talk to

Authenticity is a popular word today and used in so many variations from a hashtag anthem to self-awareness.  In its origin, from the Greek “authenticos” it came to mean genuine, and ultimately, trustworthy, as it referred to someone’s authority or recognized  signature.   In the Art world, a signed piece of art always needs to be “authenticated” to assure that it is legitimate.

While being authentic means to be genuine, rather than fake or copied, it was meant to be a representation of the vulnerable and flawed, but still beautiful, parts of ourselves.    People don’t want to have to apologize for who they are while others look down upon them.  There is a need for acceptance, tolerance, and understanding of our individual quirks or beliefs, our illnesses, and life experience.

However, I don’t believe that it was supposed to be an excuse to hurt people or behave in a cruel way.  “Well, you don’t want me to lie, do you….?” or some such remark to minimize the words and actions.

Being yourself in a world that is trying to change you, or expects you to look a certain way like a one-size-fits-all body, is a step of bravery.   Being cruel is not.  You may authentically be mean, but that is another story, and not one I would personally celebrate.

People are genuinely hurt, have broken hearts, and may struggle to live a good life.  When people ask how you are, and your reply is “Fantastic,” every single time, that is not necessarily authentic.  Life is not always perfect and there are ups and downs – not one individual is perfect all the time, not even in our sleep (look at how many snore or have sleep apnea!).

Emotional or physical pain is genuine, perhaps a given in certain circumstances, and having to lie about it or hide it is exhausting.  You may not respect or appreciate it as such, but pain is real and you cannot quantify how much it hurts another.

On the flipside, an authentic person doesn’t shy away from telling the truth in sincerity and vulnerability because expressing pain is not always negative.

Living an authentic life means deeply acknowledging what our values and priorities are and how we choose to express them.  It is appreciating a new way of thinking derived from introspection and awareness of one’s genuine goals or desires.  It is a way of behaving and operating from an internal barometer of truth and the underlying desire to seek and create restored faith in our humanity.

Being authentic means reviewing our own behavior and making necessary adjustments in our relationships with others; it is a reflection of the internal voice and the self.  When we believe so greatly in our ego that we feel we have the right to tell someone else how to live, be, and feel, we need to rethink what constitutes genuine compassion and empathy.

never-apologize-for-showing-feeling-when-you-do-so-you-apologize-for-the-truth-quote-1

 

 

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https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/authentic/

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empathy_johann wolfgang von goethe

 

I found this to be so encouraging.  Sometimes, we feel powerless or think that we are “stuck,” yet we have the power to create our own spirit within our daily lives to rise above those issues that cause our ego to feel pain.   Our choice is to remain among the bitter, or become one such person seeing them seemingly getting ahead by their bad behavior, or raise our standards above what others may understand.  It is for us, not for them, however, if our example should happen to lift another, we are more fortunate for that opportunity to be of courage and understanding.

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Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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invisible_illness

There are many ways in which people feel invisible and isolated, but one of the most widely known, and unknown, ways in which people use more strength and effort to achieve what others take for granted is living with an invisible illness.

Pushing through your daily routines with pain can be truly punishing and at the end of the day exhaustion ensues.  For some, such supreme effort can keep them homebound for days seeking recovery.  The mental and physical fatigue is very real and cannot just be “slept off.”

It is estimated that over 10% of the population in the United States has an invisible illness and the percentage expands for those with an invisible disability although I suspect that the number is actually higher (these are classified differently under the Disabilities Act – the U.S. Census estimates that 19%, 1 in 5, of the population – over 56 million people – have a disability).

Many invisible illnesses have neurological origins and are woefully misunderstood.

The saddest truth is that you will be judged and quite harshly by some.  There are more critics than those who will empathize.  Some will create drama over their aches and pains and soak up all the sympathy that they can.  But, as Maya Angelou aptly put it, you don’t have to be one just because you have it.

invisible_maya angelou

I don’t feel that those of us with invisible illnesses are looking for pity or a public showing.  However, private concern, compassion, kindness, and understanding seem like too much to hope for, but are genuinely desired.

The range of invisible illnesses include genetic diseases, Fibromyalgia and Lyme disease, to Multiple Sclerosis, ALS and Alzheimer’s in early stages, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis and other autoimmune diseases like Rheumatoid Arthritis, Depression and all mental illnesses, to Heart or Lung disease, Endometriosis, Diabetes, and Cancer.  The broad scope and list of such illnesses is long and very real for those suffering.  We want to remain positive, we want to feel good, and we want to live without pain.  We wish that we could.  But, when we have experienced it we have two options: selfishly claim that ours is worse than others and become bitter or empathize with another’s pain and acknowledge with comforting compassion and patience.

Those suffering with invisible illnesses often feel that they live in an invisible world, as their lives and feelings are hidden away to please others (who rarely are) or prevent discrimination from affecting them in any way at work, school, or social situations.  They fight twice as hard for every day in misunderstanding, fear, and the vast unknown.

invisible_disability

While completely misunderstood, you cannot classify hundreds of millions of people around the world as “faking” or seeking attention.  Most will not receive any and will struggle alone.

Life happens and we do not always have the choice of health and wellness.  Masking it to make others feel more comfortable only adds to the difficulty.  Each of us is fighting a battle that no one else knows.

The first step is empathy and acceptance. Appreciate that while beauty may be skin deep, illness can and does indeed go to the bone, and strong people bear it as well as able every day.  The majority of people do not want to experience pain, struggle, or seek medical attention as often as they must to live active and functioning lives.  However, criticism, demeaning, and intolerance wound further.

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If you are living with an invisible illness, what has your experience been?

Thank you for sharing.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/invisible/

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quote_patience seeing past the emotion

When I saw the daily prompt word, many thoughts came to mind that combined patience, compassion, empathy….  and then considered that if I considered myself to be patient on occasion, my family would argue loudly that it just isn’t so.

So, then I chose to look up the official definition of “patience” to see if I might ever qualify.

noun
1. the quality of being patientas the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain,without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay:

to have patience with a slow learner.
3. quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence: to work with patience.

In the work that I do, I try very hard to have patience with some of those I encounter because they need my compassion.  With others, there is arrogance or entitlement or other characteristics that set me ticking, but as I withhold my tongue, doesn’t that count as patience too?

If one of the definitions is perseverance, then there is a history of patience.  Some may call it perseverance (and have quite kindly); to others it is stubbornness to step aside.  Long-term histories with people and places, despite many ups and downs, is an endeavor to apply perseverance in the form of a long term commitment to continue moving forward.

Saying a brief prayer before my philanthropic meetings for patience and compassion is a commitment as well to try to be fully present for those in front of me struggling with many tests of faith and existence.  When I have been complemented on my patience and how I spoke with them, I have let them know that there are those at home who would disagree…..

We each have a certain amount of patience and it comes out at different times. For me, it may not be when I am driving, nor when the level of nonsense and untruth exceeds my barometer for tolerance of such things, yet it is there for making a dough or searching for just the right recipe.

There is patience in trying to learn or continually consider, through introspection and thought, how to improve the quality of my life or myself.  It has been a long time and I still have much to learn and have not given up that search.

Trying to bite my tongue when someone is upset, or will not be convinced of my merit if I try to explain, is a form of patience.  It is allowing the other person to continue to express their opinion whether I agree with it or not.  It is a commitment to keep moving forward with a relationship that is meaningful to me and hoping that in time all will continue to improve.

quotes_patience is power.jpg

 

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https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/patience/

Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/patience/

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