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Tag Archives: idealism

you are so nice its annoying


When you choose to operate out of concern and empathy for others and their feelings, you generate suspicion in those who don’t understand such a concept.  I have experienced the dissatisfaction of dealing with people who look for the easy, avoidant, and half-fast way, of doing things.  There are people who figure out the benefit to them and figure that everyone else has to clumsily peddle through, even if they are drowning.

I simply cannot fathom this kind of thinking.  My upbringing was public in some ways and we knew that how we behaved would reflect on our parents and family.  We were taught to be upright, share, think about how another might feel, and reach out to give a smile first.  Also, if your hands aren’t broken, think about the next person.

Today, I have found that this kind of attitude freaks some people out.  They don’t get it and figure that there must be something nasty lurking beneath the supposed façade that draws their ire and suspicion.  There is some perverse desire to convince others that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows (not that I think it all is, I am too introspective for that).   Have you had this experience?

My empathy is not based on anyone else’s expectation.  There are those who do expect it from me regardless of how they treat me; some people will take advantage of sensitive and empathetic personalities.  What can be a weakness is also a blessing.  I see and feel too much with concern about others’ needs, often more than my own.  But, I also recognize the signs of pain, embarrassment, fear, sadness, and desperation in others that requires a special and careful way of speaking to comfort.  My awareness and memory of peoples’ words, actions, behavior and energies means that I can assess things pretty quickly.  But, it would be nice to be wrong and see a person grow, improve or change for the better, and that is when I have hoped for too long for things to be different.

The hard part is when I try to seek the good, or trust deep down, that I would give no less of to people, and it is abused.

When someone told me that they have struggled to find nice people and that they weren’t letting go of me, I realized just what a confession and compliment that was.  So, in cases of suspicion, let me clarify:  I am not getting anything out of it.  My behavior is a reflection of my values and respect.  Yes, I really can be so concerned.  But, no, I cannot be taken advantage of indefinitely.  Sadly, what I have had to learn from suspicious people is that there is a reason they are so suspicious and it generally has nothing to do with me directly.

Approach me honestly, and openly, and I will return the effort while we both try to bring back some restored faith in humanity.

suspicious minds_tom hanks



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monday motivation truth_william faulkner 5.22.17

drean 1

I Continue To Dream

I take my dreams and make of them a bronze vase
and a round fountain with a beautiful statue in its center.
And a song with a broken heart and I ask you:
Do you understand my dreams?
Sometimes you say you do,
And sometimes you say you don’t.
Either way it doesn’t matter.
I continue to dream.

By Langston Hughes


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