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courtesy_ralph waldo emerson

To the parents, educators, managers, and customer service people, please use the teachable moments while you can.

My coworker tells me about the differences between millennials and “old folks”(I am her mother’s age). We only have so long to be heard by our young, and peers, and that window is closing so much faster than ever.  That generational thing is simply not an excuse.

Yesterday, as I headed into the grocery store, a tall young man was walking opposite me in the narrow lane.  He walked while looking down at his phone.  He continued walking into me as if it were my fault that I had nowhere else to go and should get out of the way to avoid being bumped into.  As he looked down at his phone, and we were less than 10 inches apart, he never lifted his head.  Finally, in frustration, I said to him “Really? You are going to walk into me because of your phone?”  I had to sidestep towards a wall.  He just kept going.

This afternoon, I was waiting to pay almost $300 at an establishment.  Of course, it was not quite that simple.  First, the young woman could not check the price of something additional for purchase without a humph.  Then, she told me that my total bill would be $367.  I explained that it couldn’t be that number.  Agitated, she looked down at her computer  while I waited for her to reassess.  Then she told me that my bill would be $327. Again, I explained that two of the items were a specific price and my bill could not be that amount.  She argued with me, “No,” she said, “This is it.”  As I stood there, another employee (who made me regret not going to her in the first place) told her that I was correct.  She didn’t acknowledge that she had made a mistake.   But, after I continued to wait for her  to make the necessary changes, I still treated her with courtesy; I said “Thank you.”  She said “OK.”

Let me be clear.  OK is not a suitable reply to Thank You.  Not only is it rude in almost every circumstance, outside of someone saying “thanks” in sarcasm, but particularly so in customer service.  Did I leave with a bad feeling? Absolutely.  It makes me rethink spending my hard earned money there anytime soon.

As I drove home, I stopped at a 4-way stop.  Courtesy or law, whatever the motivator, each person stops and waits their turn.  However, the young driver did not stop to wait his turn. He plowed on through.  When I hit my horn, I was given a lovely fist and high-fingered salute.  At the next light, as I waited behind him, he was on his phone. Wanting to move away from him, I got in the second left turn lane.  As the light changed color, he stayed on his phone, and I made the turn.  Then, he came through the light starting on my right, moved behind me and moved to my left and cut me off.

Driving is not supposed to be the thing you do when you are NOT on your phone in a car. Driving is supposed to be the primary thing one does in a moving vehicle.  Computers and cell phones aren’t supposed to completely replace courteous human interaction.  Nor is someone’s age a qualification for entitlement.   At some time, someone must have tried to teach what courtesy is supposed to be and the most basic of communication forms.

It is my job to instill manners, courtesy and positive human interaction as a parent.  Not wanting someone to ask why my own child wasn’t raised right, I tried to share the customer service experience with my own millennial.  Well, the response I got was “I don’t need your lessons.  I’m doing just fine on my own.”

We are supporting many of these millennials financially, and otherwise, in the home, at work, and in the retail environment.  I have had some expensive lessons in rudeness in the last 24 hours, but I see that courtesy seems to be even more precious.


Have you had this kind of experience? What did you do?



marilyn nail polish

After putting it off for too long, I made an appointment to go to the Spa with the brightly-colored door. Winter blues and boots made me long for summer toes and a soothing pedicure. Rationing the remaining balance on my birthday gift card, I booked an appointment to be soothed, smoothed, and calluses removed.

The clientele is always different. Some people are friendly and talkative. Others close their eyes or play on their phones. Midweek, I was able to get an appointment at a convenient time. I settled in to my chair with a warm neck pillow, a glass of cucumber water, and a warm towel across my lap. All this was brought to me; no one treats me that good at home!

While warm paraffin softened my crocodile skin, a voice could be heard loudly around the Spa. “I have been to Miami. New York. L.A. Las Vegas. They always play music. This place is for Grandmas. Who doesn’t like music?”

Firstly, now that I am one, I think highly of Grandmas and have deep appreciation for the child who made me one three times over in 18 months. I think it is a great gig and hope to carry the title for a long time.

Secondly, a nice person is making a living cleaning your skin and cutting your cuticles. You could say “Please” and “Thank You.” You could have managed to keep your opinion to yourself for thirty minutes. But, no, you wanted e v e r y o n e to hear about your dissatisfaction. You complained so loudly that I could hear you in an adjacent room.

Thank you for showing how entitled, spoiled, overindulged, and irritating some people can be with no appreciation for anyone else. For me, going to the Spa was preceded by a grateful thanks to Mom and G-d for giving me a gift to be pampered. Did you enjoy your little hissy fit in front of the staff! You made the group of us there at the expensive Spa seem like bratty children who don’t appreciate what they have been given.

After listening to you rant for awhile, the technician gently told you to let your nails dry for a few minutes and she would be right back. Rather than let her quietly gather some strength, fresh air, or a bathroom break, you called out: “Can you get me a coffee with Sweet ‘n Low?” Not even a please. Oh, and by the way, she is not a waitress.

By all means, this mundane little Spa is simply too pedestrian for the likes of you who has had her nails clipped around the world. Please find some place that plays music. By all means, escape us Grandmas. Not everyone has such difficult first world problems as you. Some of us are just worried about how to keep our jobs and pay our bills. I would much rather see the world through my rose colored toenails than listen to you whine.

Thanks for Stopping By! It means more than you know.


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