Skip navigation

Tag Archives: Memory

grief_u will not be the same_kubler ross

This is a precious time of year for many, but also one of great reflection because of the themes of Victory, Dedication, Life, and Joy.  It is a time of light continuing to burn beyond all reason or hope, a beacon in the window, a shining reminder that we continue…  despite everything, we remain.

This has been a year of immense tragedy and loss and my thoughts are with those who will not be celebrating in the same way this year.  A time of family gatherings, and acknowledging the meaning of our celebrations and observances, means that our hearts and minds are open to all impressions and senses of self, faith and Heaven.

How can we go on in the face of great sadness?  We continue to grieve and remember.  We rise because we must for those around us.  We rise as a testament to those who loved us and for whom our world revolved.

Seeing the tears of children who should not grow up without a father, as I did this week, I was reminded of all that I have to be grateful for and the prayers for healing and comfort extended on behalf of these heartbroken families.  Perhaps, I should have remained quieter, or said less; I berated myself that night and the following day.

But, I wanted them to know that there is no time limit on grief and that it will come in waves over times of blessing, holidays, and family gatherings.  No one has the right to determine how long someone else may mourn; the past, present, and future are forever changed.  While I believe that a loved one who has passed on will continue to guide and watch over those whom they love, it is we in our limited understanding who bear the pain of missing that person.

I wanted them to know that neither he, nor they, will be forgotten.

Just as the person we loved continues to be memorialized, we cannot look away from another’s heartache.   Being sensitive to another’s mourning is how we can pay testament to the great love and friendship that exists and remains.

For those in this time of passing from one gathering, one season to another, one year into another, and each day moving forward, my prayers are for peace and comfort in the time to come and to be accessible to you when you are ready to receive them.

grief_I will be there_emily dickinson

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for stopping by. If you know someone who should read this, I hope that you will share.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a post of mine from 2016, but when I saw a daily prompt about “Sympathy” and, particularly, on September 11th – the anniversary of a great loss beyond comprehension – I felt it to be appropriate. My deepest condolences to all of you that continue to grieve your beloved ones wherever you are.

But my brain never forgets either….

maya angelou_alike

It is that time again when I struggle to add acceptance to the other stages of grief that are playing with me again.

Anxiety, crankiness, frustration and other emotional tides are tossing me about.  It is the anniversary of a death.  I have joys and family opportunities to celebrate life and gratitude. My life has been altered by giving others permission to express their pain and truth.  We each need to be supported and encouraged to be accepted through all of our life experiences.  When I try to deny that to myself, my heart and mind know the truth.  My emotions are fragile.  Loss of a loved one is understood acutely by someone who has experienced that same gaping pain.

That anniversary surrounds me with memories of the days leading up to the passing of someone who loved me.  Looking back, I realize that I thought I had more time than I did.

My responsibilities and commitments were honored, although it didn’t mean as much to the recipients as it did to me.  When I tried to be strong, and denied myself the empathy I offered to others, I missed one more chance to say goodbye.  Another hug, or a kiss, or a kind word slipped away from me in regret.

So, now it is my turn.  Overwhelming grief makes a liar out of time.  Passage is just hands on a clock until it is someone else’s time to mourn.

Source: The Heart Remembers When

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/sympathy/

But my brain never forgets either….

maya angelou_alike

It is that time again when I struggle to add acceptance to the other stages of grief that are playing with me again.

Anxiety, crankiness, frustration and other emotional tides are tossing me about.  It is the anniversary of a death.  I have joys and family opportunities to celebrate life and gratitude. My life has been altered by giving others permission to express their pain and truth.  We each need to be supported and encouraged to be accepted through all of our life experiences.  When I try to deny that to myself, my heart and mind know the truth.  My emotions are fragile.  Loss of a loved one is understood acutely by someone who has experienced that same gaping pain.

That anniversary surrounds me with memories of the days leading up to the passing of someone who loved me.  Looking back, I realize that I thought I had more time than I did.

My responsibilities and commitments were honored, although it didn’t mean as much to the recipients as it did to me.  When I tried to be strong, and denied myself the empathy I offered to others, I missed one more chance to say goodbye.  Another hug, or a kiss, or a kind word slipped away from me in regret.

So, now it is my turn.  Overwhelming grief makes a liar out of time.  Passage is just hands on a clock until it is someone else’s time to mourn.

 

 

 

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Advantage of Foresight.”

sometimes never know the value of a minute

In Nature’s eternal calm, man finds himself. The health of the eye seems to demand a horizon. We are never tired, so long as we can see far enough.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is no doubt to me that each minute, hour, day, or years wasted on people who do not deserve it takes a toll on our lives.  We make more excuses for other peoples’ bad behavior than fighting for all that we truly do deserve and developing our self-respect.

Foresight would have let me know that I could survive during the times I thought that I never would. It would have let me know that I would not fail, or fall off the face of the Earth, no matter what I attempted.  What a gift knowing that I did not miss out on a grand adventure!

For those that have no regrets, you are blessed that you have been able to accept and let it go. Or, perhaps, for those that have none, you are doubly blessed, and have not been tested in that way.

Our faith tells us that everything happens for a reason and every dash is part of the lifeline. Yet, still, we wonder about the path not taken and how one powerful choice might have changed the width and breadth of our lives.

Giving over the majority of our time to the duty and honor of others, we live in a fog of days. Suddenly, we turn around and years have magically drifted away…..

Had we known how our decisions affected us, or others, would we have made a change? What did we miss in trying to find our horizon?

How many more peaceful days could have been gained by knowing that the light really would be at the end of the tunnel?

To me, I will always question my choices on the last day of my loved one’s life.  What a waste of a precious day that, in hindsight, could have brought peace in a last goodbye.

We live, we consider, we conjecture and we determine. We plan, and G-d laughs, as if we were making the choices.

But given a gift of foresight, I would rather lose one day, than lose one day over and over ~ in my memories.

irish blessing foresight

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for stopping by.  Your visit means more than you know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

%d bloggers like this: