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Tag Archives: Pain

survivor_you recognize one.jpg

Once you begin to use your humanity and empathy to look around you, you discover that those whom you love – as a friend, sister, neighbor, coworker, or other souls that you connect with – you recognize that you are both survivors and that is a connection of strength and acknowledgement.

Trauma comes in many different forms and scars form around our hearts.  No matter how positive we are or how “perfect” we try to be, there is no such thing.  Life brings us highs and lows; we experience feelings and scenarios that we never expected.  There is no vindication or justice.  Whether it is addressed in the world to come, or through Karma, or the passage of time…… our pain is real and the feelings that we have attached to our particular situation.

To anyone who is trying to continue to be strong, we feel our pain deeply at times when we face it head on.  Many may avoid it through different means and masks to stop feeling.  Others, need support for those times that they are dragged under in deep emotion, longing, despair, or perceived weakness.

True survivors, and those who continue to learn from their struggles and challenges, have learned that a trial by fire can enlighten.  We can lessen pain for someone else by sharing ours, or empathizing as no other can, by our shared humanity.

We know what it feels like to be estranged, traumatized, abused, mistreated, suffer, grieve, mourn, and experience loss in a myriad of ways.  Each time, it feels as if someone has asked us to remove a limb, a solid piece of our beating heart that feels as if it will never return or regenerate to make us whole again.

But, we can fill the spaces, however temporarily, by reaching out to another and acknowledging their fight and survival without diminishing it or labeling it.  We can merely hold their heart in our hands for a few moments and help to carry the too-heavy load for just awhile so that they do not have to walk alone.

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Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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we all need somebody to talk to

Authenticity is a popular word today and used in so many variations from a hashtag anthem to self-awareness.  In its origin, from the Greek “authenticos” it came to mean genuine, and ultimately, trustworthy, as it referred to someone’s authority or recognized  signature.   In the Art world, a signed piece of art always needs to be “authenticated” to assure that it is legitimate.

While being authentic means to be genuine, rather than fake or copied, it was meant to be a representation of the vulnerable and flawed, but still beautiful, parts of ourselves.    People don’t want to have to apologize for who they are while others look down upon them.  There is a need for acceptance, tolerance, and understanding of our individual quirks or beliefs, our illnesses, and life experience.

However, I don’t believe that it was supposed to be an excuse to hurt people or behave in a cruel way.  “Well, you don’t want me to lie, do you….?” or some such remark to minimize the words and actions.

Being yourself in a world that is trying to change you, or expects you to look a certain way like a one-size-fits-all body, is a step of bravery.   Being cruel is not.  You may authentically be mean, but that is another story, and not one I would personally celebrate.

People are genuinely hurt, have broken hearts, and may struggle to live a good life.  When people ask how you are, and your reply is “Fantastic,” every single time, that is not necessarily authentic.  Life is not always perfect and there are ups and downs – not one individual is perfect all the time, not even in our sleep (look at how many snore or have sleep apnea!).

Emotional or physical pain is genuine, perhaps a given in certain circumstances, and having to lie about it or hide it is exhausting.  You may not respect or appreciate it as such, but pain is real and you cannot quantify how much it hurts another.

On the flipside, an authentic person doesn’t shy away from telling the truth in sincerity and vulnerability because expressing pain is not always negative.

Living an authentic life means deeply acknowledging what our values and priorities are and how we choose to express them.  It is appreciating a new way of thinking derived from introspection and awareness of one’s genuine goals or desires.  It is a way of behaving and operating from an internal barometer of truth and the underlying desire to seek and create restored faith in our humanity.

Being authentic means reviewing our own behavior and making necessary adjustments in our relationships with others; it is a reflection of the internal voice and the self.  When we believe so greatly in our ego that we feel we have the right to tell someone else how to live, be, and feel, we need to rethink what constitutes genuine compassion and empathy.

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https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/authentic/

Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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invisible_illness

There are many ways in which people feel invisible and isolated, but one of the most widely known, and unknown, ways in which people use more strength and effort to achieve what others take for granted is living with an invisible illness.

Pushing through your daily routines with pain can be truly punishing and at the end of the day exhaustion ensues.  For some, such supreme effort can keep them homebound for days seeking recovery.  The mental and physical fatigue is very real and cannot just be “slept off.”

It is estimated that over 10% of the population in the United States has an invisible illness and the percentage expands for those with an invisible disability although I suspect that the number is actually higher (these are classified differently under the Disabilities Act – the U.S. Census estimates that 19%, 1 in 5, of the population – over 56 million people – have a disability).

Many invisible illnesses have neurological origins and are woefully misunderstood.

The saddest truth is that you will be judged and quite harshly by some.  There are more critics than those who will empathize.  Some will create drama over their aches and pains and soak up all the sympathy that they can.  But, as Maya Angelou aptly put it, you don’t have to be one just because you have it.

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I don’t feel that those of us with invisible illnesses are looking for pity or a public showing.  However, private concern, compassion, kindness, and understanding seem like too much to hope for, but are genuinely desired.

The range of invisible illnesses include genetic diseases, Fibromyalgia and Lyme disease, to Multiple Sclerosis, ALS and Alzheimer’s in early stages, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis and other autoimmune diseases like Rheumatoid Arthritis, Depression and all mental illnesses, to Heart or Lung disease, Endometriosis, Diabetes, and Cancer.  The broad scope and list of such illnesses is long and very real for those suffering.  We want to remain positive, we want to feel good, and we want to live without pain.  We wish that we could.  But, when we have experienced it we have two options: selfishly claim that ours is worse than others and become bitter or empathize with another’s pain and acknowledge with comforting compassion and patience.

Those suffering with invisible illnesses often feel that they live in an invisible world, as their lives and feelings are hidden away to please others (who rarely are) or prevent discrimination from affecting them in any way at work, school, or social situations.  They fight twice as hard for every day in misunderstanding, fear, and the vast unknown.

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While completely misunderstood, you cannot classify hundreds of millions of people around the world as “faking” or seeking attention.  Most will not receive any and will struggle alone.

Life happens and we do not always have the choice of health and wellness.  Masking it to make others feel more comfortable only adds to the difficulty.  Each of us is fighting a battle that no one else knows.

The first step is empathy and acceptance. Appreciate that while beauty may be skin deep, illness can and does indeed go to the bone, and strong people bear it as well as able every day.  The majority of people do not want to experience pain, struggle, or seek medical attention as often as they must to live active and functioning lives.  However, criticism, demeaning, and intolerance wound further.

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If you are living with an invisible illness, what has your experience been?

Thank you for sharing.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/invisible/

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quote_nobody makes it out here alone_maya angelou

 

Stigma and shame are isolating, but there are so many people hurting, find ways to connect.  You create healing for yourself and another in the process.  If each person reached out to another with genuine concern, caring, support and understanding, how changed we all could be and the environment around us.

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Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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