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Look at the eye contact passing between mother and daughter before the tape even begins!!  Oooooooohh.

The Academy Awards ~ bright lights, expensive gowns, hair and makeup, and publicity. Lots of publicity!

Melanie Griffith grins at her daughter and tries to keep her comments brief.  Asked if she will see the movie, she says that she cannot and does not need to see it to know how special her daughter is as an actress.

Meanwhile, Dakota Johnson just keeps plugging away. “It is just a movie. You can see it. I am telling you that you can see it.”

Mom Melanie is biting her tongue so hard, she is pulling her own jaw tighter than all that plastic surgery.

No mother wants to watch her child have sex, let alone have to discuss it.  After 24 years of cleaning up vomit, seeing you through chicken pox and stitches, and the misery of adolescence, a mother wants peace.  Mom does not want to watch you naked, and handcuffed to a bed, writhing erotically and moaning, while some sociopath hurts you to feel like a man. You are just going to have to take my word for it.

Dakota just keeps going like the steaming locomotive that all adult children are, with a one track mind, ready to run you over.  But just in case, this adult child will run you over several more times just to make sure you are dead and she has won the argument.

Awkward.

Melanie Griffith is smiling at her daughter.  “Ok, sweetheart….I am so proud.”

Meanwhile, she is silently screaming in her head: 

WE ARE IN FRONT OF ONE BILLION PEOPLE IN OVER 100 COUNTRIES.  FOR THE LOVE OF G-D, STOP YOUR WHINING.  I WILL FIGHT WITH YOU LATER IN THE LIMOUSINE.

Big Smile to the interviewer.

Meanwhile, Dakota does not give up.  It is her constitutional right to keep badgering the point with her mother

~ and actually gives her mother the {eye roll} seen and heard around the world.

As a parent of a young adult, you observe some of the uncomfortable and painful posturing that goes on between other parents and their children, particularly in social conditions.  The adult child is over the age of 21 and demands to be heard, as well as having the last word, on any subject involving her.

As parents, what we really want is to simply end the fight with as few words as possible.  We want compromise, and if at all possible, a shred of dignity.

While we do not want to see anyone suffer, it is a comfort to know that other parents are struggling to navigate the huge minefield of emotions, hormones, and independence.

Then, you realize that even with all the advantages this child grew up with, sadly, the tentative relationship between mothers and daughters is something we each have to go through.  So, maybe, we are not doing so badly after all.

(I truly empathize with this mother because those of us with young adult, or adolescent children, have been in this messy verbal sparring before.  There is no black and white as a mother……..as we endeavour to try our best, it is ALL Shades of Gray!…..I will leave the masochism jokes to someone else).

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elizabeth-arden spa day

Most people have to work for a living. The money that they earn is by the honest labor of their hands. However, who you have to work with or for can be a major source of stress in your life.

There are special people who are wealthy but also kind, solicitous, charitable and altruistic. There are others who have money and feel that palm fronds should be laid at their feet while someone feeds them grapes. They seem to be a little out of touch with the “little people” (yes, I have heard that expression used about those of us in a lower tax bracket) and very out of touch in their expectations.

Today, I treated myself to a pedicure as the woman who I had come to know was going to be transferring to a location at the InterContinental Hotel in Washington D.C. A meteor would hit the White House before I will be in that area, so I took my last opportunity for a spa treatment.

There are four stations lined horizontally, with deep white sink tubs for soaking feet and high backed chairs presumably for relaxing. One character speaks, everyone can hear.

The woman on my left remained on her phone for most of my visit and certainly hers. She sounded like a woman negotiating with her daughter-in-law for time with her grandson. It saddened me because I knew from the way she spoke, that she was walking on two layers of eggshells.

Then a young woman came in for her pedicure, waving her freshly manicured hands about her. Naturally, there was a cell phone in her hand. She got into her seat. It was when she opened her mouth that my shame began. Dismissive? Demeaning? Raised Volume? You bet!

She spoke to the kind Asian women attending to her and said harshly “Make it even. Like the other toes. I have had it done. I know you can do it.” The esthetician tried to explain that it was much shorter than the others and couldn’t as it was.

“It is short; someone stepped on my foot yesterday. Fix it.”

That tone of voice certainly made my shoulders rise and my body recoil. I can only imagine what the poor woman working with her could be thinking. The esthetician tried to lower her voice and diffuse the heat and the crazy in that way. She asked if the young woman meant that she wanted a “tip” put on her big toe. “Yes.” The lovely esthetician lowered her voice and explained that it would cost $10 for the nail. I feel that it is classy and more lady like to discuss transactions and money issues at a lower volume at times. It is not meant to embarrass or discomfort anyone should they be unable to afford the additional cost of the service.

The young woman raised her voice and waved the other women away, saying, “JUST DO IT.” I refer to that type of behavior as the Nike School of Management. There is no tolerance for questions, or comments. Just do It ~~ and move along. The contempt with which she spoke and the carelessness about the cost and extra effort was loud and made me embarrassed to be a human being.

She came off spoiled, arrogant and rude. Regardless of the amount of disposable income one has, you are dealing with another person who must commit to your request. Why make the person who is trying to do a satisfactory job feel even smaller about their skills and abilities?

We are all in a hurry, and want more than we ask for, and demand more than necessary at times. If you apologize, or show a kind smile, you remain human and approachable about the moods that we each share for better or worse.

But in an industry meant for relaxing, comfort, and patience, you can have everything you want if you just remember that they have their own insecurities, family concerns, and don’t “owe” you anything even if you pay the Spa.

However, with some empathy and compassion, you can have a pleasant soak, a hot pack on your neck, cucumber water at your side and a friendly woman at your feet who doesn’t want to clip off more than your hangnails.

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Thanks for stopping by! It means more than you know.
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If we we don’t allow people to communicate, we cannot assume that our version of the truth is necessarily the right one.
Be open to others’ pain with empathy, compassion, and kindness. Whether you are cruel, or supremely kind, neither one will ever be forgotten.

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Thank you for stopping by! It means more than you know.
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Kindness Blog

Quotation by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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