Skip navigation

Tag Archives: season

grief_u will not be the same_kubler ross

This is a precious time of year for many, but also one of great reflection because of the themes of Victory, Dedication, Life, and Joy.  It is a time of light continuing to burn beyond all reason or hope, a beacon in the window, a shining reminder that we continue…  despite everything, we remain.

This has been a year of immense tragedy and loss and my thoughts are with those who will not be celebrating in the same way this year.  A time of family gatherings, and acknowledging the meaning of our celebrations and observances, means that our hearts and minds are open to all impressions and senses of self, faith and Heaven.

How can we go on in the face of great sadness?  We continue to grieve and remember.  We rise because we must for those around us.  We rise as a testament to those who loved us and for whom our world revolved.

Seeing the tears of children who should not grow up without a father, as I did this week, I was reminded of all that I have to be grateful for and the prayers for healing and comfort extended on behalf of these heartbroken families.  Perhaps, I should have remained quieter, or said less; I berated myself that night and the following day.

But, I wanted them to know that there is no time limit on grief and that it will come in waves over times of blessing, holidays, and family gatherings.  No one has the right to determine how long someone else may mourn; the past, present, and future are forever changed.  While I believe that a loved one who has passed on will continue to guide and watch over those whom they love, it is we in our limited understanding who bear the pain of missing that person.

I wanted them to know that neither he, nor they, will be forgotten.

Just as the person we loved continues to be memorialized, we cannot look away from another’s heartache.   Being sensitive to another’s mourning is how we can pay testament to the great love and friendship that exists and remains.

For those in this time of passing from one gathering, one season to another, one year into another, and each day moving forward, my prayers are for peace and comfort in the time to come and to be accessible to you when you are ready to receive them.

grief_I will be there_emily dickinson

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for stopping by. If you know someone who should read this, I hope that you will share.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Advertisements

autumn dusk_empathy queen
blue moon
driftwood-on-lake

There is no such thing as perfection. Even in nature, it is not only the greenest of trees, or sunniest of days, that appeal to us. Our spirits find comfort in darkened skies, barren landscapes, frosty moons, and cloudy sunsets. It becomes perfection, in a fleeting moment, as it satisfies our individual moods and reflects our changing perspectives.

Perfection is a changeable factor. We want everything to be so pretty, colorful, bright, and perhaps well matched. To others, it is the crazy quilt combination and rough-hewn irregularity that expresses perfection. We can never create perfection for someone else because as hard as we try, it is our bias that we are using. As long as someone else has the right to approve or disapprove, to hold dear or discard, to treasure or to turn away, we will never feel perfected or completely embraced in it.

There is no such thing as perfection, unless we will it to be so, in how we view it within ourselves and consider it among the gifts of our heart or mind.

Every effort to do the right thing is a blessing. But the recipient does not always know that it is a gift, they may not even know who the giver is. We attempt to please someone else with what they can see and receive from us. But, sometimes, just giving what the other person needs is the most “perfect” thing, even that which does not seem so to us.

We can love in the best possible way we know how and others will discard it. We can try to say the most perfect words and someone else will choose not to hear it. The illusion of perfection is that the effort to attain it wears you down. Perfection should feel good, peaceful, and a spark of bliss. It is elusive; perfection is confined to a moment in time that you believe to be so. However, it is constantly changing, tipping forward or backward in our personal view of good and bad.

To those who can share such a moment with someone else, you have been gifted a tremendous blessing. However, not all of us who cannot, are “less than.” We are each seeking our moments of joy, insight, understanding, value, appreciation, empathy, compassion, and enduring good. We make the best decisions that we can at the time. In trying to bring about positive change, we seek to create perfection in a place or manner that apathy never can.

Perfection is a desire; striving to improve is a positive thing. Regret, and pain, because we have not achieved such a state, tears down and weakens. If it saps your strength, if the energy is felt and seen around you, as it is in empathetic people, and it hurts you, then it is not perfection.

Perfection is Divine; it is G-d given and not man made. We do not know what is perfect, or right, when things occur in our lives. We pray that it is for our best, but we question that as well. There is beauty in darkness, and sadness in clarity. Highly sensitive people are aware of their feelings and those of others. The noise, the temperature, the smells, and the sensory overload can be too much. Perfection may be the quiet moment in the morning, with the first sip of a wonderful cup of coffee, enjoyed alone. Quiet may be your version of perfection rather than a star-studded gala affair.

Do not regret not being a part of all that the media shows us to be the “perfect” holiday season or necessary start to the New Year. Greet new beginnings at your own pace. There is not only one day out of the year that carries the magic of the spirit. That day, that time, that minute, can be whenever it seems perfectly appropriate to you and it is not subject to anyone else’s approval but yours.

Releasing the need for someone else’s company or approval may be the kindest thing we can do for ourselves. So, even in pain, there is good if we consider it to be so. Even if it only lasts a minute, if our focus on our difficulties and disappointments only lasts as long as a sigh… We have glimpsed peace and the next moment is ours to determine how to move forward, or stand, until we are ready to move again.

%d bloggers like this: