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Tag Archives: Values

you are so nice its annoying

 

When you choose to operate out of concern and empathy for others and their feelings, you generate suspicion in those who don’t understand such a concept.  I have experienced the dissatisfaction of dealing with people who look for the easy, avoidant, and half-fast way, of doing things.  There are people who figure out the benefit to them and figure that everyone else has to clumsily peddle through, even if they are drowning.

I simply cannot fathom this kind of thinking.  My upbringing was public in some ways and we knew that how we behaved would reflect on our parents and family.  We were taught to be upright, share, think about how another might feel, and reach out to give a smile first.  Also, if your hands aren’t broken, think about the next person.

Today, I have found that this kind of attitude freaks some people out.  They don’t get it and figure that there must be something nasty lurking beneath the supposed façade that draws their ire and suspicion.  There is some perverse desire to convince others that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows (not that I think it all is, I am too introspective for that).   Have you had this experience?

My empathy is not based on anyone else’s expectation.  There are those who do expect it from me regardless of how they treat me; some people will take advantage of sensitive and empathetic personalities.  What can be a weakness is also a blessing.  I see and feel too much with concern about others’ needs, often more than my own.  But, I also recognize the signs of pain, embarrassment, fear, sadness, and desperation in others that requires a special and careful way of speaking to comfort.  My awareness and memory of peoples’ words, actions, behavior and energies means that I can assess things pretty quickly.  But, it would be nice to be wrong and see a person grow, improve or change for the better, and that is when I have hoped for too long for things to be different.

The hard part is when I try to seek the good, or trust deep down, that I would give no less of to people, and it is abused.

When someone told me that they have struggled to find nice people and that they weren’t letting go of me, I realized just what a confession and compliment that was.  So, in cases of suspicion, let me clarify:  I am not getting anything out of it.  My behavior is a reflection of my values and respect.  Yes, I really can be so concerned.  But, no, I cannot be taken advantage of indefinitely.  Sadly, what I have had to learn from suspicious people is that there is a reason they are so suspicious and it generally has nothing to do with me directly.

Approach me honestly, and openly, and I will return the effort while we both try to bring back some restored faith in humanity.

suspicious minds_tom hanks

 

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https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/suspicious/

Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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integrity_brene brown

I operate from a standpoint that people are basically good and, believing that, I try to be careful with someone else’s feelings and vulnerabilities.

Yet, lately, I have been handed my trust back like a crumpled up paper bag.  I keep trying to straighten it, and myself, up right again, but it just isn’t the same.  Recently, it has happened more than once.  In fact, despite explaining openly about how painful I found it when another broke it, it happened again.

Being real has never meant that I climbed on someone else’s back, money, knowledge, experience or any other something that belonged to them, to get myself ahead.  Taking advantage of people is the opposite of how I was raised.

To me, there is no time clock; a human being who is compassionate, honest, trustworthy and genuine behaves that way 24 hours a day.   I don’t have different rules for different places and different sides of my mouth.

First, be a human being.

What is so sad is discovering just how rare that has become for many others.  I am disappointed for myself (ok, disgusted really) and heartbroken that cynicism and opportunism is celebrated more than loyalty and integrity.  Inspirational words, followed up with honest and legitimate behavior, is what will restore my faith again, one person at a time.

what is important to you.jpg

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What has restored your faith in humanity?

 

high-road_e-b-white

 

It is difficult to take the high road when faced with those who achieve greatly despite being dishonest, brash, bullying, or defiant.  It turns all that we have been taught about integrity and compassion on its head and what it means to truly succeed.

But, many times when faced with the choice to emulate someone false right in front of us, or choosing to focus on what we believe in our hearts and minds to be true, we set our sights on the broader view that what is right and just is the kind of life we want to lead and the kind of environment we want to create.

 

don't let the behavior of others.jpg

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the measure of a man_martin luther king jr

 

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Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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