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Yes, I get emotional and sentimental. But each tear is filled with love and you never outgrow being my child. Your life is filled with the exhaustion of small children, late nights at work, and the journey of self-discovery.

Who you will become, and who you are now, is always changing.

I have never given up on you and we never could.  The words don’t always come out right and love does not always mean agreement.  Loving unconditionally does not mean that everything you do is perfect to me, but knowing that it means everything to you, means I support you.

You began changing a long time ago and my memories are of another time in your life when you needed me.  Today, you need to find out who you are and that means moving away from where we are to create your own home.

But, please know, that wherever you go and wherever you leave your mark, you can always come home. Even if it is just a phone call, a text, or a photo, I appreciate all of them and your home will always be in my heart. Thank you for including me in your life.

Just know, wherever you are, you can always come back home.

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Thank you for stopping by! I hope that you enjoy your visit and please feel free to share this with someone you love.

Home isn’t just a place, it is a state of mind.

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THE IMPORTANCE OF HAPPINESS

“When you find out what makes you happy — and it can be something as detailed as a long-term goal or it can be something as simple as the way I feel when my son smiles — you should know that happiness is your birthright. It’s a reaction to something.”

— Pharrell Williams, at the UN on March 20, 2015

When our heart and mind reach out to someone or something – this is empathy. We not only realize what brings us joy, but we pay attention when someone else shows us what it means to him or her. In reacting, and listening, we learn about ourselves and others. We appreciate the differences and methods to define happiness as individuals and a collective union of like-minded others.

A commitment to awareness, change, hope, and a renewed faith in ourselves and others generates a response to the questions:

What is happiness for me?

How can I bring it to someone else?”

What does happiness mean to you?

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Thank you for stopping by! I hope that you enjoy your visit.
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J.K. Simmons accepts the Best Supporting Actor statue at the Academy Awards on Sunday in Los Angeles. In his speech, he told the audience to call mom and dad.

“Call your mom. Call your dad.”

That simple call to action from J.K. Simmons went viral during Sunday’s Oscar telecast.

“Call your mom, everybody,” said Simmons on the air. “I’m told there’s like a billion people or so (watching). Call your mom. Call your dad, if you are lucky enough to have a parent or two alive on this planet. Don’t text. Don’t e-mail. Call ’em on the phone. Tell them you love them, and thank them, and listen to them for as long as they want to talk to you.”

Tapping his hand over his heart, he concluded, “Thank you, Mom and Dad.”

Incredibly, some people actually chose to negatively and sarcastically respond to his heartfelt speech. Even in the beauty of JK Simmons’ empathic and genuine life lesson learned, some chose to dismantle it into some 20 seconds of reflected fame and 140 characters of cynical disdain.  

 

jk simmons call your mother

Today, we can be blocked, disconnected, deleted and dismissed.  It is easy to be callous and careless, when you have one or two parents still alive.  For all the emancipation and estrangement, a parent welcomes (except for unusual circumstances) an adult child’s attempt at communication and reconciliation.

You are blessed to be someone’s child.

Losing a parent hurts, even when you are older in years, because your heart never forgets.  The person who used to tell you that he or she is proud of you is gone. The source of your personal history, and witness to it, is no longer there to be your cheerleader or sounding board.

Having experienced three losses so close together, I understand that feeling of grief and mourning.  We continue to talk to our loved ones, but  we cannot hear their replies.

Grief_elise thomlinson

Simmons told the Detroit Free Press that his Oscar comments were spontaneous and reflect what he’s learned since losing his father, who died in 2012, and his mother, who passed away in 2014.

“That sort of just fell out of my mouth, and it’s because I am a parent, because I loved my parents deeply and they were such wonderful parents and role models and we lost both of them in the last couple of years,” he said by phone. “I think it’s one of those things you can’t know until you know, like having a baby. You can’t know what it’s like until it happens. I had a wonderful relationship with my parents, but you can’t know what it feels like to be an orphan. Even if you’re an orphan when you’re 59 years old, you’re still an orphan. And it’s hard, so I want people to appreciate what they have.”

Make the most of the gifts that you have been given and recognize that it is, indeed, a gift.

Let those whom you love know just how much they matter ~ and come to appreciate the value and wisdom they carry.

Thank you JK Simmons for your life-affirming message, and your empathy, to turn your singular moment into one others could share and learn from.

 
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Look at the eye contact passing between mother and daughter before the tape even begins!!  Oooooooohh.

The Academy Awards ~ bright lights, expensive gowns, hair and makeup, and publicity. Lots of publicity!

Melanie Griffith grins at her daughter and tries to keep her comments brief.  Asked if she will see the movie, she says that she cannot and does not need to see it to know how special her daughter is as an actress.

Meanwhile, Dakota Johnson just keeps plugging away. “It is just a movie. You can see it. I am telling you that you can see it.”

Mom Melanie is biting her tongue so hard, she is pulling her own jaw tighter than all that plastic surgery.

No mother wants to watch her child have sex, let alone have to discuss it.  After 24 years of cleaning up vomit, seeing you through chicken pox and stitches, and the misery of adolescence, a mother wants peace.  Mom does not want to watch you naked, and handcuffed to a bed, writhing erotically and moaning, while some sociopath hurts you to feel like a man. You are just going to have to take my word for it.

Dakota just keeps going like the steaming locomotive that all adult children are, with a one track mind, ready to run you over.  But just in case, this adult child will run you over several more times just to make sure you are dead and she has won the argument.

Awkward.

Melanie Griffith is smiling at her daughter.  “Ok, sweetheart….I am so proud.”

Meanwhile, she is silently screaming in her head: 

WE ARE IN FRONT OF ONE BILLION PEOPLE IN OVER 100 COUNTRIES.  FOR THE LOVE OF G-D, STOP YOUR WHINING.  I WILL FIGHT WITH YOU LATER IN THE LIMOUSINE.

Big Smile to the interviewer.

Meanwhile, Dakota does not give up.  It is her constitutional right to keep badgering the point with her mother

~ and actually gives her mother the {eye roll} seen and heard around the world.

As a parent of a young adult, you observe some of the uncomfortable and painful posturing that goes on between other parents and their children, particularly in social conditions.  The adult child is over the age of 21 and demands to be heard, as well as having the last word, on any subject involving her.

As parents, what we really want is to simply end the fight with as few words as possible.  We want compromise, and if at all possible, a shred of dignity.

While we do not want to see anyone suffer, it is a comfort to know that other parents are struggling to navigate the huge minefield of emotions, hormones, and independence.

Then, you realize that even with all the advantages this child grew up with, sadly, the tentative relationship between mothers and daughters is something we each have to go through.  So, maybe, we are not doing so badly after all.

(I truly empathize with this mother because those of us with young adult, or adolescent children, have been in this messy verbal sparring before.  There is no black and white as a mother……..as we endeavour to try our best, it is ALL Shades of Gray!…..I will leave the masochism jokes to someone else).

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Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate your visit and comments.

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