Rebel With a Cause & Effect

Relationships are very important to me and family is a priority in this lifetime.  Reaching out to love, yet respect differences, and accept accountability yet moving forward instead of attacking the past, is the best that a rational and emotionally mature person can prefer.

Some love confrontation or nurturing their anger; It is not helpful to strengthening or maintaining any healthy communication and reinforces the hurt dysfunction.  The dynamics don’t improve and the wounds persist.

The largest act of rebellion is working to change the context in a messy and complicated situation to one of self-preservation and fighting as hard, for yourself, as you have for others.  It is not easy for one who cares so deeply and, certainly, I have been an easy and satisfying target for verbal attack.

Trying to shift a mindset and ingrained habit of behavior is very difficult.  Many of us have prescribed roles and distinctions of thinking, reinforced by others, that we are supposed to save everyone and fix every situation, or we are at fault.

Mature relationships take both sides willing to accept that we can love one another while still disagreeing.  Respecting each individual, instead of trying to continue to wound with past patterns of negativity, is the only healthy way to move forward.  Growth and self-esteem take time, but self-respect and willingness to walk away from someone else’s anger, as hard as it is to do, is the only way to take the first step.

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Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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There is no Buddy Like a Brother

 

When it comes to sweet, it generally involves children or dessert.  Our families are important to us and building loyalty and responsibility for one another begins by being taught those values in the home from an early age.

My husband and I have loved this photo from the moment we saw it.  My twin grandsons, who were three years old at the time, were taking a walk down the street with their parents.  Sibling love and support, when it exists, is something I consider to be sweet and to be cherished.

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Thanks for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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Roots and Wings on the Family Tree

As Thanksgiving approaches, I find myself more emotional and reflective of the many milestones in our long family history, both happy and sad, that have taken place at this time of the year.  While many holidays are based on religious observance, Thanksgiving is an opportunity to share the feast, created by many hands, gathered in one home.

As we enter my sister’s home, I am reminded of the passage of time; there are those who are no longer with us, but whose spirit I carry in my heart.  There are beautiful babies and grandchildren to marvel at.  New spouses have joined in our family celebrations and the branches continue to grow and spread out.

Each offering of food has been created with love and the menu composed to provide for Dad’s favorite flavors (we are good daughters).  Great grandparents sit with four generations in a home that continues to stretch its walls each year.

It is a blessing to still be able to gather and celebrate each other’s presence.  Surrounded by those whom we love and cherish, sensitivities and emotions can run high.  We each have our vulnerabilities and differing views among our interdependence.  We are close, or far, but connected nonetheless.

For this, and throughout the year, I have gratitude.

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May you always have food on your table, friends and family to support you, and good memories to shelter you from harm.
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All of a Kind Family

 

Family is one of my priorities in this lifetime.

I have been blessed with a large and loving family.  If there is a crisis, all hands are on deck and we are fiercely protective and involved.  While we didn’t all live in the same place, because we had love for each other, our children grew up to love as well.  Is there such a thing as a perfect family?  I certainly don’t know of one.  Our family, like yours, has its own issues and plenty of baggage.  I have endured difficult family struggles and attitudes by some.  It can complicate matters, or cause revisionist histories, when there are misunderstandings in action or communication.

My family is divided as my children live in four different locations in North America and have very widely different philosophies.  (Yes, you guys really are all related!) But, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of each, and try to figure out how to be the best mother to each vastly individual and unique adult child.  We don’t stop being mothers, or worrying, when they leave home.

As a parent, I may not be part of their daily lives, but I carry them with me in all that I do and think about.  There are bonds of blood and bone that connect us.  I am grateful when I observe them extending kindness and compassion to others.  It thrills me and fills my heart to see them show respect to their grandparents and friendship to their cousins.  Having respect for my siblings, and all of their children and grandchildren, my children have witnessed long-term loyalty, and empathy, and that we choose to live it.

Good, bad, or indifferent – we are a family.  There is no such thing as “unconditional love.”  Everyone has a judgment, or strongly held belief or opinion, and absolutely NO fear of expressing it.  But, it is my great hope, in my legacy as a parent, that my children continue to be part of each other’s lives.

When you speak of a family, and each member’s contribution to it, you do not leave out one because they are geographically distant.  If there is truly love and respect, it is understood that we stand united whether emotionally or physically.  The lessons that we learn in our families affect the balance in our future relationships.

We come together when there are milestones and life events, both happy and sad.  We are a family and we don’t pick and choose who has value, or who matters more, as if it were a competition.

Each member has a hand in caring for another and all are important parts of the whole. We are a family and all are welcome and special at our table.

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What does family loyalty look or feel like to you?

Thank you for stopping by!  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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