Living Your Values

I operate from a standpoint that people are basically good and, believing that, I try to be careful with someone else’s feelings and vulnerabilities.

Yet, lately, I have been handed my trust back like a crumpled up paper bag.  I keep trying to straighten it, and myself, up right again, but it just isn’t the same.  Recently, it has happened more than once.  In fact, despite explaining openly about how painful I found it when another broke it, it happened again.

Being real has never meant that I climbed on someone else’s back, money, knowledge, experience or any other something that belonged to them, to get myself ahead.  Taking advantage of people is the opposite of how I was raised.

To me, there is no time clock; a human being who is compassionate, honest, trustworthy and genuine behaves that way 24 hours a day.   I don’t have different rules for different places and different sides of my mouth.

First, be a human being.

What is so sad is discovering just how rare that has become for many others.  I am disappointed for myself (ok, disgusted really) and heartbroken that cynicism and opportunism is celebrated more than loyalty and integrity.  Inspirational words, followed up with honest and legitimate behavior, is what will restore my faith again, one person at a time.

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What has restored your faith in humanity?

 

What Lies Within Us

“No one reaches out to you for compassion or empathy so you can teach them how to behave better.  They reach out to us because they believe in our capacity to know our darkness well enough to sit in the dark with them.”                       ― Brene Brown

Some people prefer superficiality; it means that they don’t have to invest or make any effort.  It is expedient and assures a lack of depth.  Yet, those same people expect, or demand, our utmost respect and loyalty.  You cannot access people’s most positive emotions while reflecting negative ones.  People cannot be bullied into love any more than they can feel safe or trusting with someone who denies their real selves.  Existing is not the same as authenticity.  Our deepest connections are forged with characteristics that lie below the surface: vulnerability, compassion, kindness, empathy, courage, hope, anxiety, fear, pain, inspiration, spirituality, gratitude, encouragement, and acceptance.

“The opposite of recognizing that we’re feeling something is denying our emotions. The opposite of being curious is disengaging. When we deny our stories and disengage from tough emotions, they don’t go away; instead, they own us, they define us. ”        ― Brene Brown

Confidence and courage is knowing that you have a story that is tearing you apart, but being able to share, as well as listen to another, with empathy and sensitivity.  Each of us has felt grief and despair; acknowledging it and being treated with dignity lightens the load, even for a brief moment. Ask anyone with an invisible illness how hard it is to carry on in pain and show the barest slice of the self on the surface.  It is a daily struggle.  No one deserves it nor brought it upon themselves.  Denying someone else’s pain is cruel and isolating.  There are others to whom we try to share our shame and our deepest trust is shattered adding to our lack of self-acceptance and access to external judgment.

“Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning and purpose to our lives.”       ― Brene Brown

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Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/surface/

 

 

 

 

 

 

Empathy and Truth are not just a Phase

When you are a highly sensitive person, there is a lot of misunderstanding.  It starts as a teen and people think that you are going through a phase of teenage angst.  Later, people like to say things to you that aren’t very nice, or sharp barbs pretending to be “just kidding” remarks, because you are an easy target.

But, it is always interesting to me that when people are going through their own “phase” of issues, they want someone to listen to them.  The highly sensitive person is the one who will; we may know that it may be self-created drama, but we listen anyway.  When someone is going through their own circumstance of the blues, or stress, despite our own, they look for us to vent.

Some complain that our weakness is that we care about things that don’t necessarily affect us.  I think that it is because our sense of justice and integrity is so strong, that we care about what happens to others in our community and on the other side of the world that causes pain and inequity.

Feeling things deeply isn’t just a phase.  It is a part of who we are, a piece of our heart and soul, as our mind processes the situation and remembers the tiny details.  While people like to call us “too sensitive” when they are feeling good, they seek out this characteristic when they want empathy.  Our sense of honesty is very high and we aren’t afraid to speak the truth.  That doesn’t mean people want to hear it, but we don’t forget.  Another characteristic is our long-term memory.

We have our own phases where the lack of humanity, and our desires to improve the situation or those affected, cause us to feel too much or carry the burden for too long.  But, we rise again with a core of personal strength to prepare ourselves to empathize and listen again.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/phase/

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Thanks for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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A Week of Empathy & Integrity – Day 5

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Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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