Every Heart has its Secret Sorrows

“Believe me, every heart has its secret sorrows, which the world knows not, and oftentimes we call a man cold, when he is only sad.”

– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Hyperion

Grief is not a competition.  Sadness has no limit.  Physical or mental pain is not on a scale in comparison to any other individual.

Again and again, I am reminded that people who have not experienced what we have, feel that they are entitled to tell you how long, how much, or how valid your feelings are.  Can you tell me why I don’t like eggplant?  Can you tell me why I don’t like the color brown?  Of course not; we are individuals with a lifetime of experience and determination of our needs, likes, dislikes and depth of emotion and intuition.

Some people are very vocal about every ache and pain.  Others hide it in shame or fear.

You are entitled to your pain and grieving.  No matter how much time has passed, if you are still mourning, no one has the right to tell you to “get over it.”  Some heartaches never go away.

If you are in pain today, I hope you are sent healing.  If you are mourning, I hope that you find some comfort, or at least a hand to hold while you cry.  If you are feeling so alone in your sadness or grief, please know that anyone else who has actually experienced a great loss will never try to silence yours, but will understand that some wounds never heal.  

You are still putting one foot in front of another.  You are a survivor.

 

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In memory of Mom.

No Kind Action ever Stops with Itself

 

 

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The Earth Laughs in Flowers

copyright 2017 – theempathyqueen

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Tenacity Gets the Job Done

 

If there is a task to be done, it seems that the same personalities offer their help again and again.  It is the survivors that do what must be done.  They have lived through it, and in their empathy, move forward knowing that they have done it and can keep going.

I spent the weekend with my siblings.  One took charge when a stranger wandered into the middle of a child’s group, guiding away the individual to neutral ground.  Another stepped in to the middle of a crisis, doing the most unpleasant of tasks, because it had to be done despite the pain.

Is it inner strength or confidence? Perhaps, it is the remnant of how we were raised.  We operate with conviction in the midst of a crisis.  Resolving an issue is first and foremost, then can be debated later.  When challenged with life issues, we have witnessed, and risen up, to do that which must be done for someone else’s physical well-being, and dealt with our own emotions later.  We were raised with a sense of urgency and responsibility that I miss seeing around me; I find it to be inspiring.

There are plenty who like to take credit, but few that will roll up their sleeves.  That is the difference that separates leaders from managers and individuals from the collective.

To me, being tenacious in the face of challenges, is what gets the job done.  Whether personally or professionally, taking the first step is what moves it along.  There will be many doubts, and doubters, that will deconstruct after the fact, but it is an act of strength to care enough to make a difference.

 

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