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family loyalty_haniel long

 

Family is one of my priorities in this lifetime.

I have been blessed with a large and loving family.  If there is a crisis, all hands are on deck and we are fiercely protective and involved.  While we didn’t all live in the same place, because we had love for each other, our children grew up to love as well.  Is there such a thing as a perfect family?  I certainly don’t know of one.  Our family, like yours, has its own issues and plenty of baggage.  I have endured difficult family struggles and attitudes by some.  It can complicate matters, or cause revisionist histories, when there are misunderstandings in action or communication.

My family is divided as my children live in four different locations in North America and have very widely different philosophies.  (Yes, you guys really are all related!) But, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of each, and try to figure out how to be the best mother to each vastly individual and unique adult child.  We don’t stop being mothers, or worrying, when they leave home.

As a parent, I may not be part of their daily lives, but I carry them with me in all that I do and think about.  There are bonds of blood and bone that connect us.  I am grateful when I observe them extending kindness and compassion to others.  It thrills me and fills my heart to see them show respect to their grandparents and friendship to their cousins.  Having respect for my siblings, and all of their children and grandchildren, my children have witnessed long-term loyalty, and empathy, and that we choose to live it.

Good, bad, or indifferent – we are a family.  There is no such thing as “unconditional love.”  Everyone has a judgment, or strongly held belief or opinion, and absolutely NO fear of expressing it.  But, it is my great hope, in my legacy as a parent, that my children continue to be part of each other’s lives.

When you speak of a family, and each member’s contribution to it, you do not leave out one because they are geographically distant.  If there is truly love and respect, it is understood that we stand united whether emotionally or physically.  The lessons that we learn in our families affect the balance in our future relationships.

We come together when there are milestones and life events, both happy and sad.  We are a family and we don’t pick and choose who has value, or who matters more, as if it were a competition.

Each member has a hand in caring for another and all are important parts of the whole. We are a family and all are welcome and special at our table.

family means no one get forgotten_david ogden stiers

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What does family loyalty look or feel like to you?

Thank you for stopping by!  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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home_maya angelou

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Thank you for stopping by! I hope that you enjoy your visit.
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Yes, I get emotional and sentimental. But each tear is filled with love and you never outgrow being my child. Your life is filled with the exhaustion of small children, late nights at work, and the journey of self-discovery.

Who you will become, and who you are now, is always changing.

I have never given up on you and we never could.  The words don’t always come out right and love does not always mean agreement.  Loving unconditionally does not mean that everything you do is perfect to me, but knowing that it means everything to you, means I support you.

You began changing a long time ago and my memories are of another time in your life when you needed me.  Today, you need to find out who you are and that means moving away from where we are to create your own home.

But, please know, that wherever you go and wherever you leave your mark, you can always come home. Even if it is just a phone call, a text, or a photo, I appreciate all of them and your home will always be in my heart. Thank you for including me in your life.

Just know, wherever you are, you can always come back home.

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Thank you for stopping by! I hope that you enjoy your visit and please feel free to share this with someone you love.

Home isn’t just a place, it is a state of mind.

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freshly-pressed-circle

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “To Be Resolved.”
https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/to-be-resolved/

The resolution that I continue to seek is how to parent, and build a relationship with my adult children from a distance far away not to block their view, but let them see that I still keep a light on in the window.

When it comes to the relationship with our children, I don’t know that we ever reach “resolution” because we each change every day.  I am trying to respect the distance even if my experience with my parents was different.

Since this is a major goal in my life, and always was, I am reprinting this post from July 16, 2014.

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theempathyqueen

generations by gilad

I love you and you will always be my child. I have been trying to stretch and grow to accommodate your view of life, but I realize that I am uncomfortable at times. Perhaps, it is because I am out of my comfort zone trying to be inside of yours. When I raised you, I had hoped to give you good character and kindness. Given your origins, independence, intelligence, and strong opinions could not help but be part of your nature. Sometimes, those opinions hurt me. You know I am sensitive and I was an easy target. But, still, I love you.

You have chosen to live your life differently than I have chosen to live mine. I try to keep my door open to you whenever you want to walk through it. We have made, and continue to make, different choices. I did not want to choose sides. I…

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