In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “To Be Resolved.”
https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/to-be-resolved/The resolution that I continue to seek is how to parent, and build a relationship with my adult children from a distance far away not to block their view, but let them see that I still keep a light on in the window.
When it comes to the relationship with our children, I don’t know that we ever reach “resolution” because we each change every day. I am trying to respect the distance even if my experience with my parents was different.
Since this is a major goal in my life, and always was, I am reprinting this post from July 16, 2014.
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I love you and you will always be my child. I have been trying to stretch and grow to accommodate your view of life, but I realize that I am uncomfortable at times. Perhaps, it is because I am out of my comfort zone trying to be inside of yours. When I raised you, I had hoped to give you good character and kindness. Given your origins, independence, intelligence, and strong opinions could not help but be part of your nature. Sometimes, those opinions hurt me. You know I am sensitive and I was an easy target. But, still, I love you.
You have chosen to live your life differently than I have chosen to live mine. I try to keep my door open to you whenever you want to walk through it. We have made, and continue to make, different choices. I did not want to choose sides. I…
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theempathyqueen 
3 Comments
I remember this post. I remember that I agreed with everything you had written. Now that my son is living back nearby, I now deal with both and his sister’s lives firsthand. It becomes quite difficult some days.
Suz, my situation is complicated with my adult children. I wrote this from my heart but I knew not all of my children could, or would, be willing to hear it. It is very hard and I have pain too. I know that I felt and treated my parents differently but I cannot make anyone love me or speak to me if they do not want to. So, I know we never give up our feelings and our children don’t forgive our shortcomings and flaws. But their expectations remain very high always.
Yes, I agree with you on the expectations. This past year I have had things said to me by my children that I have had to reply “I did the best that I could”.
Whilst I don’t know your situation, I understand the angst that comes from parenting. I wish you joy.
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