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Tag Archives: Comfort

grief_u will not be the same_kubler ross

This is a precious time of year for many, but also one of great reflection because of the themes of Victory, Dedication, Life, and Joy.  It is a time of light continuing to burn beyond all reason or hope, a beacon in the window, a shining reminder that we continue…  despite everything, we remain.

This has been a year of immense tragedy and loss and my thoughts are with those who will not be celebrating in the same way this year.  A time of family gatherings, and acknowledging the meaning of our celebrations and observances, means that our hearts and minds are open to all impressions and senses of self, faith and Heaven.

How can we go on in the face of great sadness?  We continue to grieve and remember.  We rise because we must for those around us.  We rise as a testament to those who loved us and for whom our world revolved.

Seeing the tears of children who should not grow up without a father, as I did this week, I was reminded of all that I have to be grateful for and the prayers for healing and comfort extended on behalf of these heartbroken families.  Perhaps, I should have remained quieter, or said less; I berated myself that night and the following day.

But, I wanted them to know that there is no time limit on grief and that it will come in waves over times of blessing, holidays, and family gatherings.  No one has the right to determine how long someone else may mourn; the past, present, and future are forever changed.  While I believe that a loved one who has passed on will continue to guide and watch over those whom they love, it is we in our limited understanding who bear the pain of missing that person.

I wanted them to know that neither he, nor they, will be forgotten.

Just as the person we loved continues to be memorialized, we cannot look away from another’s heartache.   Being sensitive to another’s mourning is how we can pay testament to the great love and friendship that exists and remains.

For those in this time of passing from one gathering, one season to another, one year into another, and each day moving forward, my prayers are for peace and comfort in the time to come and to be accessible to you when you are ready to receive them.

grief_I will be there_emily dickinson

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“Believe me, every heart has its secret sorrows, which the world knows not, and oftentimes we call a man cold, when he is only sad.”

– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Hyperion

broken heart

Grief is not a competition.  Sadness has no limit.  Physical or mental pain is not on a scale in comparison to any other individual.

Again and again, I am reminded that people who have not experienced what we have, feel that they are entitled to tell you how long, how much, or how valid your feelings are.  Can you tell me why I don’t like eggplant?  Can you tell me why I don’t like the color brown?  Of course not; we are individuals with a lifetime of experience and determination of our needs, likes, dislikes and depth of emotion and intuition.

Some people are very vocal about every ache and pain.  Others hide it in shame or fear.

You are entitled to your pain and grieving.  No matter how much time has passed, if you are still mourning, no one has the right to tell you to “get over it.”  Some heartaches never go away.

If you are in pain today, I hope you are sent healing.  If you are mourning, I hope that you find some comfort, or at least a hand to hold while you cry.  If you are feeling so alone in your sadness or grief, please know that anyone else who has actually experienced a great loss will never try to silence yours, but will understand that some wounds never heal.  

You are still putting one foot in front of another.  You are a survivor.

 

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Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you find comfort here.

In memory of Mom.

peace-through-humane-ways_dalai-lama

At the end of the day, we want peace.  For ourselves, for our world, and for our loved ones; the search for peace and contentment does seem elusive.  The violence of our world has shattered our existence and global change needs to shift more positively.

Some of us worry about our finances, relationships with loved ones, jobs and careers, raising our children, developing our passions and inspirations, and building a life of meaning.  Each of these can lead us to peace of mind and spirit.  Living without constant conflict, fear or doubt, would be a means to peace.

Kindness and compassion to others is one means of bringing moments of peace.  At times when my mind has far too many tabs open, I seek music to soothe me, as well as words.  A year of plans and decisions has passed to make room for new ones in the coming year. Have I chosen well? Did I make others happy? Did I make someone else feel better when I had the chance?  Do my loved ones know that I may not have liked every interaction, but am so grateful for them in my life?

These are steps along my personal path for peace.  Until our world catches up, I will do my part to create it in my life.

I wish you moments of comfort and calm in your search for peace.

a-blessing-is-a-circle

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empathic-listening-photo
I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen.

Just Listen.

Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it’s given from the heart. When people are talking, there’s no need to do anything but receive them.

Just take them in. Listen to what they are saying. Care about it.

Most times, caring about it is even more important than understanding it. Most of us don’t value ourselves or our love enough to know this. It has taken me a long time to believe in the power of simply saying, “I’m so sorry,” when someone is in pain. And meaning it.

– – Rachel Naomi Remen

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Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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