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Tag Archives: Comfort

survivor_you recognize one.jpg

Once you begin to use your humanity and empathy to look around you, you discover that those whom you love – as a friend, sister, neighbor, coworker, or other souls that you connect with – you recognize that you are both survivors and that is a connection of strength and acknowledgement.

Trauma comes in many different forms and scars form around our hearts.  No matter how positive we are or how “perfect” we try to be, there is no such thing.  Life brings us highs and lows; we experience feelings and scenarios that we never expected.  There is no vindication or justice.  Whether it is addressed in the world to come, or through Karma, or the passage of time…… our pain is real and the feelings that we have attached to our particular situation.

To anyone who is trying to continue to be strong, we feel our pain deeply at times when we face it head on.  Many may avoid it through different means and masks to stop feeling.  Others, need support for those times that they are dragged under in deep emotion, longing, despair, or perceived weakness.

True survivors, and those who continue to learn from their struggles and challenges, have learned that a trial by fire can enlighten.  We can lessen pain for someone else by sharing ours, or empathizing as no other can, by our shared humanity.

We know what it feels like to be estranged, traumatized, abused, mistreated, suffer, grieve, mourn, and experience loss in a myriad of ways.  Each time, it feels as if someone has asked us to remove a limb, a solid piece of our beating heart that feels as if it will never return or regenerate to make us whole again.

But, we can fill the spaces, however temporarily, by reaching out to another and acknowledging their fight and survival without diminishing it or labeling it.  We can merely hold their heart in our hands for a few moments and help to carry the too-heavy load for just awhile so that they do not have to walk alone.

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Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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universe sends us what we are readyfor.jpg

If we believe that G-d is in control and hears our prayers and that the Universe, at His Will, sends us what we need to hear, then my serendipitous find must be the message that I need to hear.

Clarity is always hard for me.  I think all the time – consider, rationalize, absorb, observe, process, and feel.  As an empath, if you are one, you absorb others’ pain and emotions and must try to block such strong feelings from overwhelming an already sensitive soul.

While cleaning thoroughly, I found an envelope with my first name on it.  I knew it by heart – it was my mother’s handwriting.

Her words were meaningful and in this lonely, confusing world of mixed messages and unrealized potential or opportunities, it was helpful to have a shoulder to lean upon and know that someone cared so much about me.

This was written 15 years ago.  That was a whirlwind time to be sure.  We had just experienced a year of major household moves, change of schools and job, major medical concerns and surgeries, life changing concerns for our children…….

We rack up life experiences, memories, and battle scars.  We carry burdens or dings to the heart and spirit, but we keep rising.  Each day, we begin again, and try to do the best that we can. Some days, we want to stay in bed, and that is OK too.  Restore, Recharge, Reveal, Re-examine, Review – whatever brings you peace and comfort has value.

I hope that this will bring you comfort as well.

card from mom 1

card from mom 2

card from mom 3

 

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Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit and find something to take with you.

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I wrote this post four years ago tomorrow.  In the midst of another brewing winter storm covering the swath of the United States and a horrific flu season, I felt that this story was appropriate and still made me smile.  I hope that it will do the same for you.

cartoon of boy with the flu

As a parent, I have tried to teach empathy and compassion to my children. We want to model behavior that will make an impression and reach the depths of human love and kindness.

Sometimes, a teacher can make an unforgettable impact with his ability to open his heart and show his students a lesson that will last a lifetime. For my son, and others, a compassionate and empathetic act will never be forgotten.

It has been a snowy and difficult winter. The Polar Vortex became a part of our vocabulary and people struggled all across the United States in bitter cold, ice storms and record-breaking snowfalls. Along with that, people became sick with colds, viruses, and the flu; all that time indoors may have been too much togetherness.

At the school my son attends, over 60 boys, in the dorm, were sick with the flu. Rising snow drifts and cold drafty apartments did not help anyone to feel better. A teacher with a heart of gold and an empathetic soul rounded up the boys who were still feeling fine. He sent them to the grocery store for ingredients and together they made a huge pot of soup.

The pot was so heavy, that it was carried by two boys, one on each side. The teacher, and his students, went from room to room, and bed to bed. They gave out bowls of soup and stopped to ask each young man how he was feeling and chatted a bit. It was not enough to acknowledge that they were sick; offering comfort in warm food and kind words taught a lesson more deeply than I could in 18 years.

A little creativity, sincerity and empathy can make an impact that will never be forgotten. My husband and I were so touched, and grateful, when we heard the story from our son. As parents, we wonder what trouble our children can get into away from home with unknown influences. This was a teaching moment that made a difference to each student that day, whether they were receiving kindness or sharing it.

What small act of kindness and empathy could you create that would be unforgettable?
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A good post reaches for your heart and remains on your mind.

Thank you so much for stopping by! It means more than you know.
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grief_u will not be the same_kubler ross

This is a precious time of year for many, but also one of great reflection because of the themes of Victory, Dedication, Life, and Joy.  It is a time of light continuing to burn beyond all reason or hope, a beacon in the window, a shining reminder that we continue…  despite everything, we remain.

This has been a year of immense tragedy and loss and my thoughts are with those who will not be celebrating in the same way this year.  A time of family gatherings, and acknowledging the meaning of our celebrations and observances, means that our hearts and minds are open to all impressions and senses of self, faith and Heaven.

How can we go on in the face of great sadness?  We continue to grieve and remember.  We rise because we must for those around us.  We rise as a testament to those who loved us and for whom our world revolved.

Seeing the tears of children who should not grow up without a father, as I did this week, I was reminded of all that I have to be grateful for and the prayers for healing and comfort extended on behalf of these heartbroken families.  Perhaps, I should have remained quieter, or said less; I berated myself that night and the following day.

But, I wanted them to know that there is no time limit on grief and that it will come in waves over times of blessing, holidays, and family gatherings.  No one has the right to determine how long someone else may mourn; the past, present, and future are forever changed.  While I believe that a loved one who has passed on will continue to guide and watch over those whom they love, it is we in our limited understanding who bear the pain of missing that person.

I wanted them to know that neither he, nor they, will be forgotten.

Just as the person we loved continues to be memorialized, we cannot look away from another’s heartache.   Being sensitive to another’s mourning is how we can pay testament to the great love and friendship that exists and remains.

For those in this time of passing from one gathering, one season to another, one year into another, and each day moving forward, my prayers are for peace and comfort in the time to come and to be accessible to you when you are ready to receive them.

grief_I will be there_emily dickinson

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Thank you for stopping by. If you know someone who should read this, I hope that you will share.
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