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In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Satisfaction of a List.”

too sensitive

Is this you?

  • Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby?
  • Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?
  • Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?
  • Do you need to withdraw during busy days, into bed or a darkened room or some other place where you can have privacy and relief from the situation?
  • Do you make it a high priority to arrange your life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations?
  • Do you notice or enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art?
  • Do you have a rich and complex inner life?
  • When you were a child, did your parents or teachers see you as sensitive or shy?

Taken from: by Dr. Elaine Aron; See the rest of the article there

Many of the people who use the word “sensitive” to describe something, or someone, say it with disgust and a lack of patience.  Yet, if it weren’t for the sensitive people, who would respond to those in need? Who would cry at a piece of music? Who could look through a camera and see a masterpiece where others see nothing? Music and art reach deeper into our hearts; lyrics and words have the power to raise our awareness.

Cynicism and a lack of sensitivity are rampant. Messages are impersonal and we seek out the notes with the briefest amount of words.

A highly sensitive person processes the world around her in a layered way; smells are stronger, colors are brighter, sunlight alters mood, and soft and warm translates into cozy and waiting for touch. By the same token, scratchy fabrics irritate us. We need just the right fabrics in cotton or bamboo for a soothing night’s rest.

Sharp and pungent spices are not always satisfactory to a highly sensitive person. They can be off-putting because of the combination of scent and taste. Personally, curry and cumin are too strong for me on both counts.

We cry a lot. People make jokes or suggest you find medication for “happy” pills. There are no pills to cure a sensitivity to the tragedies in the world or news of someone’s death. Tears don’t mean that we are necessarily depressed, but we do feel and process emotions deeply. Goodbyes can be very hard. Sad songs and movies do make me cry, but my mind picks out the lyrics. In movies, I am sensitive to the sounds of accents, great acting, and cinematography. Sometimes, I have to turn off the news or the violent shows. It does not do my sensitive system any good to fill it up with anxiety or nervousness. Soothing sounds or softer lighting add to our wellness. Not all of us are artists, but there are many highly sensitive people who are indeed quite creative.

Sounds that are too loud are harsh to me. I can enjoy everything, but, sometimes, I need to turn down the volume. In a crowded or noisy party, it is helpful to get some fresh air when there are too many wild and crazy revelers. We are sensitive on behalf of others as well. We fight for the underdogs and don’t bully. We don’t tolerate someone else’s bad behavior because we know how it feels to absorb that toxic pain and negativity. Highly sensitive people, like empaths, are experts at nuance in many picayune ways. Details are noticed and appreciated like a finely set table, a beautifully wrapped gift, and fresh flowers. A good cup of coffee, or a freshly baked loaf of bread, can bring pleasure..

Our senses fuel our experiences and aid in our learning about the people and world around us. We don’t always feel like laughing, but when we do, the extroverts among us enjoy a good hearty laugh. We seem to need some scheduled alone time to recalibrate our senses and personal rhythms. No entertainment need be supplied as we enjoy time alone or with a good book. Intelligence and deep discussion are always preferable to the superficial. We can feed our souls with honest and vulnerable conversation. It does not use up our emotional strength because we have more than enough to go around. However, there are people who are toxic and narcissistic. We see through them right away and they suck out the oxygen in our sails when we spend too much time in their company.

An idea, like a sensitivity, can encompass a universe of empathy.  Seeing things through someone else’s eyes can help you to explore your own feelings.  In the silence, we absorb emotions, unspoken words, pain, loss, and that which may elude us in words. The shine in our eyes may be tears, but they can also reflect the sparks of humanity and possibility. We admire integrity and try to behave with only the best of intention in our hearts and hands.

People can insult your sensitivity – that is of course until they need a dose of empathy themselves. Then, look and see who wants to benefit from your sensitivity.  It becomes a choice to protect ourselves as well as someone else. Sensitivity encompasses honor, kindness, respect, compassion, trust, vulnerability, and empathy.  It opens the world around us, and our minds, to include that which others overlook or determinedly choose to ignore.

We appreciate the small and the large gestures that bring light, beauty, and kindness into our lives. We naturally choose filters to soothe our spirits and calm our senses when they become too overheated. Don’t worry about the tears. We are not afraid to use them sincerely, and I promise, you won’t melt.

“DOES (Depth of Processing, Overstimulation, Emotionally responsive/Empathy, and Sensitive to Subtle)”

To take a self test, click here:

Thank you for stopping by and sharing your sensitivity. I hope that you enjoy your visit.

may you never forget

These are the ones that made my list. What are some of the things you have learned along the way?

Life is too short to wallow in someone else’s muck.

As long as you can still find something to laugh about, you are doing alright.

No matter how hard you try to rationalize someone else’s bad behavior, you won’t feel better about how badly they treated you.

Even a psychiatrist cannot change a light bulb if it is not willing to change…..and there are some pretty dim bulbs out there.

Choosing to isolate yourself is always more empowering than letting other people exclude you.

There is no such thing as too much kindness or compassion.

If someone (or more than one) asks “How Are You?” as they keep walking past you, they don’t really care about the answer.

You will never find out who you really are if you are only willing to look as far as your mirror.

You don’t have to give birth to change the life of a child.

Choose to smile at someone and go the extra mile. It is not for them anymore, it is just for you and your dignity.

No matter how bad, or insecure, you may feel about yourself, ultimately, you will have enough self-esteem to keep someone else from putting you down. Trust me, it really is there.

It is OK to acknowledge the fear and the anxiety in daily situations and keep going.

If you have forged a new path, make it easy for someone to follow.

Your parents are not 100% wrong all the time. Leave some room in your life for error.

You are never responsible for someone else’s bad behavior. They are. Nothing you could ever do will make someone else behave badly unless he or she chooses to act that way.

Quitting is hard, and can affect your confidence, but there is strength in knowing when enough is enough.

There will always be people who have more than you. But, there will always be people who have less.

Say “please” and “thank you” to anyone who does something for you or helps you. Even if you pay them, they still deserve the respect and courtesy of good manners.

There is only one true Judge and it does not have to be me.

Charity is not just giving money. It is a state of mind and an act of being.

It is OK to cry and to grieve your losses no matter how little, or how much, time has passed. It comes in waves, and when the swells rise, the tears will fall.

Remember that it is normal and human to cry and grieve and that those who think it is “negative,” or tell you not to cry, or avoid you, have their own mental and emotional issues to sort out. Being human and empathetic is the way we were created to behave in these circumstances.

You can empathize with people if you have experienced difficult and life-searing changes and are honest about them. People can see phony from a mile away.

In the end, it does not matter how much you have or how much you spent. It matters if you were a mensch (human being).

Thank you so much for stopping by. It means more than you know.

PLEASE feel free to add your own lessons learned as there is so much more I need to know.


autumn dusk_empathy queen
blue moon

There is no such thing as perfection. Even in nature, it is not only the greenest of trees, or sunniest of days, that appeal to us. Our spirits find comfort in darkened skies, barren landscapes, frosty moons, and cloudy sunsets. It becomes perfection, in a fleeting moment, as it satisfies our individual moods and reflects our changing perspectives.

Perfection is a changeable factor. We want everything to be so pretty, colorful, bright, and perhaps well matched. To others, it is the crazy quilt combination and rough-hewn irregularity that expresses perfection. We can never create perfection for someone else because as hard as we try, it is our bias that we are using. As long as someone else has the right to approve or disapprove, to hold dear or discard, to treasure or to turn away, we will never feel perfected or completely embraced in it.

There is no such thing as perfection, unless we will it to be so, in how we view it within ourselves and consider it among the gifts of our heart or mind.

Every effort to do the right thing is a blessing. But the recipient does not always know that it is a gift, they may not even know who the giver is. We attempt to please someone else with what they can see and receive from us. But, sometimes, just giving what the other person needs is the most “perfect” thing, even that which does not seem so to us.

We can love in the best possible way we know how and others will discard it. We can try to say the most perfect words and someone else will choose not to hear it. The illusion of perfection is that the effort to attain it wears you down. Perfection should feel good, peaceful, and a spark of bliss. It is elusive; perfection is confined to a moment in time that you believe to be so. However, it is constantly changing, tipping forward or backward in our personal view of good and bad.

To those who can share such a moment with someone else, you have been gifted a tremendous blessing. However, not all of us who cannot, are “less than.” We are each seeking our moments of joy, insight, understanding, value, appreciation, empathy, compassion, and enduring good. We make the best decisions that we can at the time. In trying to bring about positive change, we seek to create perfection in a place or manner that apathy never can.

Perfection is a desire; striving to improve is a positive thing. Regret, and pain, because we have not achieved such a state, tears down and weakens. If it saps your strength, if the energy is felt and seen around you, as it is in empathetic people, and it hurts you, then it is not perfection.

Perfection is Divine; it is G-d given and not man made. We do not know what is perfect, or right, when things occur in our lives. We pray that it is for our best, but we question that as well. There is beauty in darkness, and sadness in clarity. Highly sensitive people are aware of their feelings and those of others. The noise, the temperature, the smells, and the sensory overload can be too much. Perfection may be the quiet moment in the morning, with the first sip of a wonderful cup of coffee, enjoyed alone. Quiet may be your version of perfection rather than a star-studded gala affair.

Do not regret not being a part of all that the media shows us to be the “perfect” holiday season or necessary start to the New Year. Greet new beginnings at your own pace. There is not only one day out of the year that carries the magic of the spirit. That day, that time, that minute, can be whenever it seems perfectly appropriate to you and it is not subject to anyone else’s approval but yours.

Releasing the need for someone else’s company or approval may be the kindest thing we can do for ourselves. So, even in pain, there is good if we consider it to be so. Even if it only lasts a minute, if our focus on our difficulties and disappointments only lasts as long as a sigh… We have glimpsed peace and the next moment is ours to determine how to move forward, or stand, until we are ready to move again.

nature water autumn reflection

intellect empathy_dean koontz

Thank you so much for stopping by! I hope that you enjoy your visit. It means more than you know.

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